Too difficult to answer right now?!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2004
Too difficult to answer right now?!
2
Fri, 09-09-2005 - 3:34pm

About three months ago I asked my boyfriend of a year if he loved me. He had previously told me he loved me (more than once, mind you), but hadn't uttered those words in six months. After refusing to answer, he finally said, "that's too difficult of a question to answer right now." I broke up with him a few days later. Three days later, he started calling my cell phone non stop and left a message that he had missed me and wanted to get back together. We got back together. I'm afraid to tell him I love him now because I don't want to open up that can of worms again. Also, he still hasn't told me that he loves me. I guess I want to know if I'm wasting my time with him. I'm not getting any younger and I do want to have kids someday. We've been dating for a year and a half and I feel that if he doesn't love me, I need to leave.

Any thoughts?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-1997
Fri, 09-09-2005 - 6:22pm

If he doesn't know if he loves you after a year and a half of dating, I say dump him.

Life is too short and there are too many wonderful/available guys out there to settle for less.

Dump the guy for one who will feel as passionately about you as you'll feel for him.

Good luck!
Heymum

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2005
Sat, 09-10-2005 - 3:33am
hello, thats a pretty difficult question. it might be that hes scarred from past relationships or hes taking it slow on his part im not sure love is different to everyone he might not fall in love at the same time you do but it doesnt mean he wont or that he doesnt care for you, maybe he himself will know when it is the right time. but i understand how you must feel. i think the main questions are what are you both looking for out of this relationship? is he taking the relationship as serious as you? faithful wise? future wise? does he see you in his future or is this just what ever happens happens situation? are you willing to work through things to try to have a future with eachother? what do both of you think a relationship consists of and is it in your relationship or are there to many blank factors? there are alot of questions you should ask to know if it is worth going through with this relationship. if there are to many missing factors on your part and he just doesnt seem serious then yes like in your other reply leave him bc thats not worthed. but i think it really depends on the answers you recieve and ofcorse what you see bc actions do speak louder than words. I would have a really long talk with him about the relationship. we'll be here to help. wish you the best
cr