True Love?? Need advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2005
True Love?? Need advice
11
Wed, 12-07-2005 - 1:51pm

Hey guys.. thanks for reading. Really need some help on this cause Im lost. Dont wanna bore the heck out of everyone and write a book so Ill try to keep it short.

I had a gf...for 4 years from age 17-21. She wanted to break up and at first I didnt want to but eventually I knew it was best. She wanted to date other people...try other things and make sure it was me who she wanted to be with. I know now that it was the best and most healthy choice for us. We went our separate ways.. she found someone.. so did I...but when hers didnt work she came back to me and we tried to work things out. TO say the least it didnt work. It worked for about 2 weeks...but our hurt..insecurity..immaturity didnt allow us to get back into the good relationship we once had. So it ended badly.. with fighting crying..lots and lots of name calling until the point where she totally blocked me from her life.

She found someone else and started a new relationship in which she thought it was even better then ours. Loved him a lot and basically changed her whole life around to revolve around him. Cut friends out..no longer talked to me...stayed in 24/7...etc etc. The whole time she told me how happy she was and how great he is. Turns out.. he was an extremely jealous person..childish.. and the relationship wasnt so great after 4-5 months. They broke up around 8 months and she realized how bad he was and the mistakes she made. She now is trying to regain her friends and her and I talk regularly now.

I havent had anyone.. I wanted to stay single. I have dated..had a couple flings..but no one caught my eye. I want something serious... I wanna date her and see if we can now make this work. Shes completely diff..same here and I believe our confidence and maturity have prgressed a lot. We hung out about 2 times since they broke up and it was the best 4 hours in awhile..we both admit that. No more hurt..no more bad feelings.

She has stated she wants no relationship from anyone..even me. She had said on many occasions "I just dont trust men" I notice that other guys have been calling her.. and when shes out they pass at her...but she tells them to back off. On our dates she kissed me...peck kiss...and she hugged me. When we get home Ill get emails like "You were my first...Ill never forget that"... or "You are better then ever" THEN... no contact for 2-3 days..like she doesnt want to get attached..or shell get a wake up call and say slow it down. So my question.. is how do I handle this? I dont wanna rush her.. but I dont want to lose her by inaction. I want to do the best thing for both of us so niether of us get hurt.

I appreciate any advice or articles you can forward me. If anyone would like to talk privately I would love that... I can provide the actuall letters and messages that I was getting to help you better understand whats going on. Btw.. I am 24 now.. her 23 and its been 3 years since we broke up...and 1 year since we tried to work things out/

Thanks again
RK

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2005
Fri, 12-09-2005 - 4:52pm
I think it's still applicable to her.

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