trust me? no...dont blame her do you??
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| Tue, 03-07-2006 - 10:41am |
hi everyone..
im going to start off with im an unfaithfull cow and i hate myself!!
i love my girlfriend with all my heart but have ripped her heart into millions of pieces,this is why.
1.have cheated on her 4 times with my ex b/f
2.kissed her best friend
3.she found me in the toilets with another girl(spied on me over the top)
4.found out i told another girl i loved her too and was torn(now resolved as i dont talk to the other girl anymore,she was my best friend)
5.just cheated on her again and this one she doesnt know!
i have told my girlfiend everything i have done except number 5 and the reason i havnt is because she said after the first 4 is bad enough, if i do it again then shes leaving me.i havnt told her number 5 because of this.
ALL OF THIS IN 15 MONTHS!!
i have told myself i wont do this again and i dont think i will,im not planning on telling her about number 5 as i dont want to lose her.
amazingly we are still together but she told me last night she loves me and thats why we are together but she also hates me and im not the girl she fell in love with..now what???
please help out some1..why do i keep straying from her? i love her dearly...i know one thing,if you was my girlfriend out there..none of you would put up with this so why does she?

1- insecurity,
2- she really loves you and thinks you love her
in all my past relationships anytime i cheated on my guy it made me relize i didnt really love that person just really loved the idea of the realtionship and i was looking for something else
i think you cheat because you think you love her, if you did you wouldnt be looking anywhere else you need to figure out what you want before you tear this girls world apart.
i dont go looking for it,it comes to me.
i just dont understand it all...she is very insecure and i know she loves me.
i dont know what is for the best for her though.
I'm going to go out on a limb here and say something that might come as a shock to you.
You do not love her. You don't. You can't possibly love her and do the things you do. What more, if you did love her not only would you not do the things you've done, but you would tell her because you loved her. When you love someone, you want what is best for them and you want their happiness, regardless if it's not what's best for you and comes at the expense of your own happiness. You don't want to tell her because you'll lose her. That's not love, that possession. You don't love her, you love having her, or having what she represents to you.
"i dont go looking for it,it comes to me."
You're not trying to pass that off as an excuse are you? Of course you are, that's why you included it. That's sad and pathetic. It comes to you, so what you're just helpless to stop yourself? You aren't some dog in heat, you are capable of self control.
For some reason you are choosing to do this. And you are choosing to blame her for your rotten behaviors. When you're ready to admit to those two facts, I'd love to know why.
thankyou for your reply..it really hit me on the head about alot of things.
i do love her which is why i am going to sit her down tonight and tell her what i have done..im hurting but not half as much as she will when she hears me out.
i dont enjoy it as im doing it which is why i dont understand why i do it..when i was younger i couldnt get a boyfriend or girlfriend because i was bullied about my looks,so now when someone shows a bit of interest it makes me feel good about my self and i suppose i show my appreciation in the wrong way.
i dont blame her for what i am doing and i know that for sure..
thanks again..
Try getting some self control and also some respect for yourself and her.
Have you ever heard of the word No. Next time "it comes to you", try using it. Say no thanks, I love my girlfriend too much. That is of course, if you really do love her. Your actions speak volumes and to me they say you dont care enough about her to stop it happening. Yes its nice being made to feel good about ourselves, but surely being with your girlfriend after everything you have done to her shows she loves you very much which should be the most important thing in the world. Not what some random stranger you pick up thinks.
Ive gone out and have been called ugly before but that doesnt mean the next time someone showed an interest, I felt the urge to sleep with them. I could never cheat on someone I was supposed to love. And how would you feel if she cheated on you???
I really hope your girlfriend finishes with you, and I dont mean that to be nasty to you but she deserves someone who can at least remain faithful to her and love her as much as she obviously loves you.
how would i feel if she cheated on me? well i know how that feels in some sort of way because we were "on a break" for a month and she slept with her ex.
the people i cheated on her with are people i actually know quite well,my ex and ex best mate are a few to name.
thanks for your reply it has helped me have the courage to tell her..
when she came home she said that the only way she will stay with me is if i go to see a counselor,i agreed and im going to see them in 2 days time.she has offered to come with me which i said she could do.
i allowed her to hit me to knock sense into me which bloody hurt and accepted and agreed to any names she decided to call me as i know i deserve it..
i reassured her this wont happen agian as all this has made me realise just how much i love my girl..thankyou for your replies it is much appreciated and i printed them all off for her to read and she agreed with everything that everyone said...so thankyou all again and hugs to everyone!