Trying to control him/relat. too much
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Trying to control him/relat. too much
| Wed, 03-09-2005 - 9:10am |
Do you think that women try and control men and their relationships too much, interrupting the natural flow of emotion and physical actions?
I myself am VERY guilty of this in the past, always wanting my man to have a certain reaction, say just the right thing, take the right course... and it cause a lot of heartache and strife for prob no good reason!!!
Any advice for ladies who do this on how to let go of the control and just enjoy what they are given?



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Lemme put it this way. My therapist just recently told me to stop steering the ship and let it drift for awhile.
So yeah. BIG TIME guilty here. lol
LOL - my therapist told me the same thing! she told me that any time i would catch myself getting anxious about the future, or trying to "steer the ship" as you say - that i should just STOP and tell myself to STOP
and ya know what? it worked! the stress my bf and i were under 9 months ago about where our future was going was just completely unnecessary (he was almost as much to blame as me..lol...we are so alike). once we both just decided to let go and enjoy what we have, things have been so great!!
If you know you shouldn't do it why do you let yourself do it? If you know it isn't healthy and it's manipulative and counter productive, just don't do it.
I know it isn't quiet that easy, but you have to start someplace. Maybe you wont be able to stop yourself everytime, but if you just throw your hands in the air everytime and give in and say, "I can't help it." You're just letting yourself be a victim of your own compulsions. At some point you have to admit that if you can't stop you no one can and start TRYING to make yourself stop it even if you don't succeed in stopping everytime.
Every time you ARE successful and you DO head off that destructive behavior your that much closer to never doing it again. But if you just shrug and give and say, "Oh well, I can't help myself. I'll never change." Well then, you never will. You'll just making the same mistakes over and over.
You may not be able to help having the urge but you absolutley can make yourself stop acting on it and the less you act on the urge the less often you'll have it.
"he who loves least controls the relationship".... a quote from my handy dandy 1,000 Paths to Love book!
Steffy
CO-cl of Is It Meant to Be?
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