Utterly Confused and in NEED of Advice!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2006
Utterly Confused and in NEED of Advice!
4
Sat, 05-15-2010 - 11:48am

My boyfriend and I of 5 years broke up a little under two years ago. The reason for the break up - he was ready to get married, and I wasn't...just yet. I was still in school and needed to finish my degree before taking the next step in our lives together. He understood my reasons, but eventually grew tired of our relationship status and his behaviour changed. He stopped calling me, didn't want to spend as much time together, and barely came over to the house. After hanging on for a long as I could, I had to make the difficult decision to end our relationship. As I ended it, I asked that we not stay in contact as it was too hard for me to have him around with not being able to be with him.


Throughout our time apart, he would contact me from time to time, asking for us to give it another try, but I was hurt and told him that I wasn't ready.


A few months ago we ran into each other and started chatting. It felt so good to

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Sat, 05-15-2010 - 12:02pm

He's feeling you out for any signs of interest in getting back together, and if you reciprocated his feelings it would be likely that he'd leave the other girl to be with you again, but he's not ready to dump her without being pretty certain you want him back.

But none of that really matters unless you're clear about what YOU want - This should be your focus. I don't think it would lead to anything good if you told him you wanted to get back together, but weren't ready to think about marriage.

I feel sorry for this other girl. She's not being treated very fairly at all.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2006
Sat, 05-15-2010 - 1:36pm

Thanks for the feedback.


I am very clear about what I am looking for out of our relationship. We were wonderful when we were together - best friends and lovers - I couldn't ask for anything more. I always knew that I wanted to be with him, but felt that at the age of 24, marriage wasn't right decision for me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Sat, 05-15-2010 - 3:30pm

Would you be willing to marry him if he asked you?

If you're clear (with yourself especially) about how you feel then yes candid honesty is the best way!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2006
Sun, 05-16-2010 - 2:56pm

Of course!

Thanks! Your unbiased advice has been helpful.