walking away after 6 years

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2006
walking away after 6 years
Fri, 09-14-2012 - 10:34pm

So John and I have dated for 6 years. He is 61 and I am 49. He has 2 adult children and I have 3 teenagers living at home. He has his place, his stuff etc and I have mine. After many attempts to break this off with John because he will not commit any further, (marry, engage or even move in) this week I have made my final decision to walk away. Problem is he won't leave me alone. So many examples I could give but bottom line is he says he still loves and wants me but I have changed directions in my thinking and say it's too late. How can I keep him from just stopping over all the time?

Community Leader
Registered: 10-22-2001
Fri, 01-04-2013 - 7:38am

For me Red Flags...his jealousy, not respecting you or your decision to "WALK" away...:(...

He has "Anger" issues big time...

How do your teenagers feel about him?...about him moving in?

You are not his ex.

It sounds like he is "Crazy-Making" by accusing you of "Cheating" and you trying to fix it.

It's not your fault and you are not to blame.

I definitely would reconsider him moving in...


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2006
Sun, 10-28-2012 - 1:10pm

Ok so 2 weeks after my last post he came and said all the right things even moving in with me and my 3 teenagers. After a few days he was convinced there was another man and became angry. I have never even thought about cheating on him, our love life is perfect. Then it was good for a few days until he got jealous again. I don't flirt or even talk with other men, and am stumped by his reactions. I have talked to him and tried to show and convince him I am all his yet he can't seem to trust. (although he says he does)  Since I've been on this emotional rollar coaster this last month I am beside myself. Just when I brought my walls down and let him back into my heart this angry jeaolusy comes out. Should I try longer to show or convince him of my faithfullness or not? I love him and want no other but am tired of being fasely accused. His first wife cheated on him with every man in town and my ex husband cheated on me as well. any suggestions?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
Sat, 09-15-2012 - 5:29am

I don't know what actions you've taken so far, so I guess that this would be the order of approach

1. state firmly that you do not want him to contact you again

2. refuse to let him in if he comes to your home.   Remind him that you don't want him around and close the door.

3. if you're on any social media with him, unfriend him.

4. change your phone numbers.  No, you shouldn't have to, but unfortunately it's sometimes necessary.

5. if he still won't go away after all this, talk to the police