well this is a new one...

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2004
well this is a new one...
2
Thu, 09-29-2005 - 12:48am

i am confused. i need some opinions please! here's the backgound. i'm happy with my relationship with my BF right now, but a little short in the female friend department. i recently met a woman and we really seemed to hit it off. we have been hanging out maybe once or twice a week, and we just talk and talk about anything and everything. it's great!

so, this woman is openly bisexual although she doesn't make a huge deal about it. it's not a big deal to me either, although i admit i never had any close friends who were bisexual or lesbian before.

last saturday night we went out with a group of people, and we were all a little drunk hanging out in a bar, and she leaned over and told me that she bet she could sleep with any person in the place, male or female. i said, well maybe male but not all females go for that! she said, "yes they do, they just don't know it yet." she then proceeded to tell me the story about another (former) female friend of hers, who she had mentioned before that they had some sort of big falling out. apparently, what happened was that she went out clubbing with that friend one night and started getting a little freaky on the dance floor, and she ended up "feeling her up" on the cab ride home. she said the girl "loved it" at the time, but afterward would never speak to her again.

what is up with that story? i mean, if a guy started talking to me like that, i would definitely think he was hitting on me.... am i reading too much into it? was that just girl talk? this is why i'm confused.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2005
Thu, 09-29-2005 - 2:14am
i mean if it was a guy i wouldve thought the same thing but i would keep an eye out on the way he treats me after that story. maybe she is just trying to brag about herself i dont think this is a reason to jump to conclusions and end the friendship but ofcourse with the way she is talking you have to watch out. she is highly confident that she can get any woman to become bisexual or at least experience it. you might be a challenge that she might want to go after. but then again i could be wrong. usually a womans intuition is correct if you feel she is defenitely hitting on you or trying to make you experience something with another woman then you should trust yourself. i say keep your eyes and ears open. you and her might hit it off as great friends but remember bc of the fact that she is sexually attracted to women and highly confident about gettin other women to like it or experience it, you cant hit if off too much to make her assume otherwise i guess you would have to kind of treat her like you would a guy friend, i dont really know its alittle hard bc you cant assume that she is feeling something towards you just bc she is bisexual but at the same time you cant NOT assume either there is a possbility, especially if you get drunk around her she might take advantage LOL!! just kidding what im saying is maybe you should keep your guards up..goodluck and take care
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2005
Thu, 09-29-2005 - 9:23am

If you can talk to her about anything, Tell her if your friendship is important to you. You might even want to tell her that you're a confident hetero and hope she doesn't challenge that, that it would make your important friendship with her awkward.

I was hit on by women a lot in college because I had short hair and dressed like a tom boy. Guys weren't flocking around me,but the girls were. Just like men, some were very polite when I said I wasn't interested , some were pushy.

My brother is gay and I have a lot of gay friends, too. Many of them have gone through a great deal personally to come to terms with their sexuality and can be very good to talk to even about hetero-relationships and feeling. She might remain a very good friend!

I'd wonder about her bragging like that. It sounds disrespectful and slutty to me no matter who it comes from. Do you have thoughts like that about men? Do you want friends with attitudes like that about other people?

Good luck!




Edited 9/29/2005 9:24 am ET ET by ubersilly