What comes first: love or career?
Find a Conversation
| Mon, 10-10-2005 - 11:11pm |
I'm going back to school next fall. The program I really want to go to is located in a different city, so I would have to move away to go there. There's another program that's located in my city, but it's definitely not as good.
Meanwhile, I'm in the best relationship of my life right now. I've been with my boyfriend for a little over a year. We've had several serious conversations about marriage, children, etc. We both agree we see it going there in the next few years, but we're not officially engaged.
If I moved away, BF could not come with me. It would be career suicide for him to leave right now, and he makes more money than I'm ever going to make in the career I've chosen... We would have to be long distance at least for the next 2 years. I know it would put a huge strain on our relationship, especially with the crazy school schedule I'm going to have.
My heart is telling me to go to the school in my city. I feel like I shouldn't even apply to the school in the other city. There's no guarantee that I would even get accepted there. If I did get accepted and chose not to go, it might make me resent him later on... Is that stupid? What if we don't end up getting married after all? Will I always regret it? I'm so torn right now.

Pages
"But what is really BEST FOR ME? That's the question."
My answer for that is this..............What's best for you, is whatever you WILL NOT regret.
What will you regret more if you stay with your bf? going to a top school and dealing with the ldr, or going to the other one?
What will you regret more if you two broke up during the school year? going to that top school and the ldr or the other one?
What will you regret more if you two break up after you graduate? going to the top school and ldr, or the other one?
That's how I decide what is best for me. Will I regret this decision later? Nope. Even if it's a stupid decision (that i realize later)? And if my ansewr is still nope. Then I do it. Even if it truly is stupid. My goal in life...not to regret anything I do, or dont' do. So far....so good.
Iam a lurker here. Just thought this topic is something I can give some suggestions on.
What comes first love or career..? The answer is which one would you enjoy more if you got the chance to have just one of them.
First thing I have objection about many other posters here is in saying that guys may come and go.. he may dump you and so forth..I just dont think that is a good attitude to be in when you love some one. If you are capable of thinking this way then you simply are not in love. If you do not have complete fath in yourself and this guy then dont take any risk for this guy.
Finding a suitable partner is definitely more important than having the best of of the career. But if I were in your place I would go to that No 5 school and build the foundation for my love life and career both at same time. Iam sure there are many successful people coming from smaller schools too. It would mostly depend on how smart you are as a person- and definitely with a loving partner near you ..you may do much better than you would do all alone in that No 1 school.
LDR is a strain and think if you are prepared for that. If you are not..then are you prepared to lose this guy if you move to another city? If you have this strong feeling that he is the ONE..then it is worth staying in your place and trying hard to build your career while enjoying a loving relationship.
Now there is no harm in applying to another school. You can always choose not to go once you get the admission. Being a career woman myself ..I know that it is hard to find a guy that is loving, sincere and supportive for your career all at the same time. If you have major heartbreaks in relationships..that could harm your career and goals in big ways- if you are sensitive person.
Most of the success in your career would come from how good you are at your job. Difference in No 1 school and No 5 school would not make much difference.
To summerise my answer--in longer run ..love and a good family is more important (given that nobody is asking you to throw away your career totally)
Pages