What comes to mind.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
What comes to mind.....
3
Tue, 05-31-2005 - 12:15pm
WHen you see an older man dating a much younger woman? DO you think he must be paying her or she is in it for the money? Would you think it was just gross for them to be dating someone old enough to be a parent? Do you think they really could have things in common and have a good relationship? Come on talk to me. I know you all may be wondering why all the age questions but this has been an on going topic on my other board and so my mind hasn't come up with anything else.
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2005
Tue, 05-31-2005 - 1:02pm

I'll be honest. My first thought would be WHY!!! EWWW!!! and then I'd start to wonder if she is in it for the money, he's having a mid-life crisis, etc.

I have dated older men (40's) when I was in my early 20's, and yeah, they were all having some sort of mid-life crisis, THINKING they got along better with young women, when in truth, they didn't. They were just TRYING to be young again, and it was sad and pathetic.

However, although I would honestly think those things, I would never really judge if it was a friend of mine. Mostly because, I'd know more behind what I "see". But gut reaction, would be, WHY!! EW!!!

Just being honest.

~pineapple_girl

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2004
Tue, 05-31-2005 - 2:45pm

I'm with pineapple girl. I'm not going to judge anyone, but it's not for me.

I had this expression I pulled from a movie I'd use when some really sleazy older guy would hit on me with some lame line at a bar, "Sorry, I don't f*** fossils for free." If he was a nice guy I was always polite, but when it was a skanky guy I was ruthless.

I just couldn't handle it. Makes things too complicated for me. But, hey, that's just me. People should do what they think is going to make them happy in the long run. I just know for me that doesnt include a future involving changing my husbands bedpans when I'm only 40 something.

Though I suppose I would find a way to deal with it if something happened to Pete. I've just never been willing to set myself up for a future where I'm still in my prime and he's declining.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2003
Tue, 05-31-2005 - 9:29pm

I dated an older man for a few years. I was 31 and he was 44. For me personally, I didn't have much in common with most 31 year olds. I already had been married, had two children, owned my own home, and had a great career. Seemed like people in their mid 40's were at the same point in life.

I didn't date him for the money. There was a time when we were very close. He seemed to be more old fashioned than people my age. He was always afraid I would run off with someone younger eventually. Age was more of an issue for him than I. He also thought a lot about when you are 41 I'll be 54... what would the age difference be like later????

I learned dating someone older doesn't really mean they are wiser and more mature. It seemed like he just knew the right things to say. I truly believe age shouldn't matter if two people are good together.... sometime it just takes longer to figure that out.