What to do?
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| Fri, 04-28-2006 - 7:36pm |
My best guy friend and I with some good friends hung out the other night and while playing a game of spin the bottle (i know its childish...we were all having fun)we ended up kissing. Little bit later we kissed again and spent the night together - only cuddled, nothing major happened. WHile cuddling though, he did make a move to get my bra off, which I did not allow, simply because we were staying in my friends bed and felt wrong about it.
The one thing I did notice was when he presumed me to be asleep, he would brush my hair aside and give me little kisses on my forehead and eyes. Something I found to be quite endearing and sweet.
We've gotten pretty close in past several months and I've learned his philosophy on relationships :
1) He DOES NOT have friends with benefits
2) He has acquaintances with benefits (not friends)
3) Believes in romances that take off right away but do not develop
I also know that he was burned in a previous relationship and that he feels serious relationships are very very scary.
Based off of this philosophy, I don't fit in any of those categories. Is that a good thing? What should I do next? I don't want to blow off the other night and make it seem like it meant nothing but likewise I don't want to tell him how I feel because it might scare him off.

I suggest you lay low a bit, and see how he behaves towards you. First of all you don't want to freak him out, second, it's the only way of knowing what's going on inside his head.
Chances are he really cares about you, but be carefull.
The little kisses and stuff are sweet, but I have 'a friend with benefits' too, and we often end up cuddling and being sweet to eachother and stuff, yet we'd never get serious...
So listen carefully to what he says. If he TELLS you he doesn't want to be serious then sweet gestures don't count anymore... because in his mind he's told you where you stand.
Give him the benefit of the doubt and just go along with whatever comes next, but keep your eyes open.
Take care and keep us posted ;o)
P.s.:
It's true that his baggage will reflect on your relationship, but
A friend of mine used to freak out about having a serious relationship too, but when she met her current boyfriend those things just melted away, so I wouldn't bother too much about it.
Let him come to you!!! One nite of passion/friendship/etc...it could have been just that..sorry to say..he may have been a little lonely. Men get lonely too...and then they wake up! Just take it slow and see what he does...do not take the lead..men like the chase..do not always be available....good luck.
I have been trying to lay low since that night...I've been busy with my own agendas - ie - school deadlines, work deadlines and he knows is. I told him I would be in touch as soon as my deadlines were through and following that conversation, the next day, he proceeded to email me to make plans to hang out.
It's odd, I tell him I'm at a really busy time and instead of calling he'll email instead.
He's making future plans to hang out more. I recently purchased a car, and he is overjoyed about it. Making comments about how I should come and visit him all the time (we live about 45 minutes away).
What guy makes future plans with a girl?
"I don't want to blow off the other night and make it seem like it meant nothing but likewise I don't want to tell him how I feel because it might scare him off."
I know just how you feel. I've been in similar situations. Am in one right now. I'd say just wait it out a bit longer too. But be careful. I know from experiance just how much it can hurt if you really fall for the guy.
Thanks, but I have not even made it to 1st base...in other words..we never even made it out to a drink face to face...we emailed for 7 weeks..which was wayyyyy too long for anything. So I have not even had time or reason to 'fall' for him. I was attracted and thought he was sexy blah blah..and even told him so....BIG MISTAKE...feeding the ego..will NEVER do that again.
You hang in there, don't follow your heart...but if you don't talk about how you feel, you may hurt yourself even more and in the long run.
Best of Luck!