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What to do
| Thu, 01-19-2006 - 12:20am |
So I met this guy awhile back thru a mutual friend. I wasnt expecting that we would hit it off so well but we did. We talked for hours everyday (I mean like stay up all night talking) for about 3 weeks. We were very open and honest with eachother about everything. When we hung out for the first time there was no awkardness. He was a real gentlemen...wasnt gawking over my body...wasnt tryin to touch all on me, didnt even make a move( we watched a movie at his house and he even sat on a seperate couch. Anyway we had a great connection and you cant find that with many people at all. So he lets me know about the situation with his ex...how he doesnt want to be with her and she doesnt want to be with him but she likes to keep tabs on him. He admitted that he did still have feelings for her (but not in a i want to get back with you sort of way...so he said) I went along talking to him because like I said we had a real good connection. We hung out more things went further...I was just going with the flow. After awhile of hanging out we ended up having sex. The next day he had asked me to go see him at work...so I did...and I come to find that him and his ex are all hugged up with eachother. Yes I got angry and I told him how I felt about it...I guess you could say I overreacted because its like if you dont want to be with your ex why are u huggin her? and of course with the things he was telling me how much he was into me and all this stuff. Anyway so I think I pretty much messed things up...I did apologize to him and said I did over react and it really wasnt my place because we werent together like that. So he was like maybe its for the best that we dont see eachother for awhile...he told me that hes afraid cuz he thinks i might act like that later on down the line. Last week or so we were talking and he mentioned that he wanted to see me but not for the right reasons. So maybe we still shouldnt hang out. Then just the other day he told me that hes been thinking about me lately and that he wants me. Now I have no problem with just a sexual relationship cuz im pretty sure i ruined us being anything more then that. I told him that he should step up his game if thats what he wanted to do...I mean most guys dont turn down sex you know what i mean? He still hasnt made that move. He wrote me an email yesterday saying that he was sorry if he has confused me in any way or hurt my feelings, but that he needed time and space...that he isnt trying to forget about me, but he doesnt know how to act towards me because he wants me some days and others he doesnt. And that hes not going to step up his game because hes not ready to do so. Now i dont know whwat to think...because the email was confusing...i mean if he wants nothing to do with me why tell me that he isnt tryin to forget about me and that he still wants to be cool? I dont know what to do or what to think. help please.

Sweetie, it sounds like your a rebound of sorts. Honestly, if you have no feelings for this guy, and just want to hook up with him, go right ahead. I'm kinda in a situation right now, where I broke up with my ex a few weeks ago, because I had enough of him, we still talk and see each other every now and then, but it's hard to move away from him. I know that I'll have to stop talking with him here, and move on with my life. I'm talking with another guy right now, and he knows about it... wanted to meet him and stuff, I told him no. I still have feelings for my ex, but I know after almost 4 yrs, this guy won't commit to me, cause he's to busy with everything and everyone else acting like a 18 yr old in a 25 yr old body...but enough about my crap.
So I think that ex is just being friendly with this guy, maybe their RL ended not too long ago...trust me it takes time after a RL to move away from an ex. Maybe they are still hookin up and still have feelings, you'll really never know. It may be best for you to just move away from this guy and find someone that's deserving of your time and energy, you'll feel better about getting into something with someone that doesn't have any baggage, like an ex hanging in the picture. People get hurt with baggage in the picture, it's better to have the crap out of the way.
This is why relationships are so hard sometimes, because they start out or end up getting messy.