What to do with him?????

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2005
What to do with him?????
13
Thu, 04-14-2005 - 12:07pm

NEED HELP!!!!!!!!

My boyfriend is a mess! We have been together for about 1 1/2 years, living together for almost a year. He has alot of problems. He broke his neck in a car accident 4 years ago. He has a pending lawsuit and after moving here to Florida with me from New York, finally received the medical attention to his pain (thanks to me)that he couldn't receive up there. I have had numerous problems with him stemming from his problems. He has over drank to compensate for the pain, which he becomes the devils spawn when doing so. He has drained my bank account several times while drinking. When he isn't drinking he is a great guy.

We finally got him hooked up with a pain management doctor a neurologist and a neuropsychologist to help him. I have taken numerous hours off work to take him to doctors appointments, get medication, pick up reports, get radiology exams, etc. Not to mention I helped him get his Florida Drivers Licence, given him use of my car to run errands, etc.

I have put up with his drinking and forgiven him over and over and over again.

We recently got the house of our dreams, everything great! The final report from the neuropsychologist came yesterday. I got to page three and I almost fainted. He told the neuropsychologist that he is happy sometimes and that I am very abusive to him from time to time!!!!!!!!

ABUSIVE? TO HIM? My God, I have put up with more than the average person would with him. I have aged because of it. All because I love him so much! What was that? This report is being used in court, his attorney, all his doctors and family! What will they think of me? What was he thinking? Im am livid!!!!!

I have not said a word to him, except I will be moving out, with no reply from him. He doesn't even know why Im mad and never asked.

He also has been found to have brain damage, I neglected to say.

What is your take on this? Should I leave? What was he thinking?

HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2005
Thu, 04-14-2005 - 6:19pm
Well every relationship takes a lot of work. If he is not working with you, you are in for a long term challenge. I am lucky and we have a great realationship. If I was in that one, bye bye! You need someone who will bring you up! Look at how much love you have to give to someone. It is time for you to get some back.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2004
Thu, 04-14-2005 - 7:21pm

HI jade and welcome.

Steffy
CO-cl of Is It Meant to Be?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2005
Fri, 04-15-2005 - 10:04am

Well to be quit honest, he recently got on some meds that are working, so his drinking is not a problem at this time. I know that I have alot on my plate with him. He has his disabilities (i.e, neck and brain damage). I also know that I either have to learn to deal with these things or get out. I also know that alot of it he doesn't understand. I really want to meet with this psychologist and see what he has to say.

My mother wants me to get out so that I won't be his caretaker for the rest of his life. But I don't know that just because someone has disabilities that you disgard them like a piece of garbage! If it is something that he can learn from with counseling and something that I can learn to handle than I don't think disgarding him is the answer. He really is a good guy, that is dealing with an illness he himself is still learning how to handle.

I really don't know what the answer is, but I feel I should try all options before coming to any permanent conclusions.

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