What do I do with all of my feelings?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2006
What do I do with all of my feelings?
Sat, 11-21-2009 - 2:20pm

This is going to be a long post because there is a lot involved, but I really need advice on what I should do now.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2009
Sun, 11-22-2009 - 6:14pm

If you haven't told properly to that guy that you really love him and have feelings for him , you should do it straight away . Maybe , he loves you and is confused wether to say it to you or not .

Or maybe , he is not interested in promoting any sexual feelings or whatever it is for you .................. Like their are so many things and possibilities which might be going on .

But , If I was at your place then I would have done the first thing . and if you have told him already and still he didn't respond then it would be best to just remain friends with him and carry on with the friendship and let him tackle this on his own . Who knows , one day he starts really liking you if he does not right now ... Afterall , THIS WORLD EXISTS ON HOPE !!!

But please , in no way let your dignity be lost ..

Have a nice time


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
Mon, 11-23-2009 - 10:45am

He has already told you how he feels about you, but it was in an indirect way.

Please keep in mind with his situation that he's still married, and because of how his wife left, he doesn't know what end is up right now. All of the kissing, and then confusion afterward has a LOT to do with that. All of the talk about possible deeper feelings on his end also has to do with his confusion.

Remember that when a person regardless of their situation is getting out of a relationship, they need time to be single, to heal, and to clear the "baggage" out of their system. Once they do that, ONLY THEN they can be with someone new, with a clear mind and a clear direction. Right now, he needs a good year plus after he's divorced to be ready for ANY type of relationship.

You need to realize that he needs space, regardless of what you may think or he has said to you. And you need to break contact permanently in order to wipe the slate clean and start fresh, if you want to have a friendship down the road.

Keep one last thing in mind, you deserve someone that has NO baggage, and is wanting to have a relationship with you. If you were to go any further with him, things would only get worse especially for you, and the likelihood of a "friendship" down the road would be ruined. He doesn't and can't right now. If you want to have any chance, for now just leave him alone. And if it's meant to be let him pursue and chase you, he'll come back around in time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2006
Sat, 11-28-2009 - 6:39am

I have been talking to him, but not as much as normal. I have held up my end of the deal and haven't brought up anything because I really just want to be there for him. I feel that if something is supposed to happen that it will, and I honestly believe that it will in time.

If it doesn't, that's okay too. I have learned to accept that he does need time and that this is extremely difficult for him. It was just stressful talking to him knowing that he was upset and confused about that too. I'm sure he still is, but if we don't talk about it then maybe it will work itself out.

I really enjoy talking to him, and I don't just want to stop talking to him. I don't see anything wrong with being there for him. I know that I still have feelings for him and that really isn't fair to me, but I really think he is a wonderful person and I don't want to stop talking to one of my best friends. He told me that I was one of his best friends, and I just hope that we can continue to be friends. He has been so patient with me about all of this and has told me that he really cares about me. I care about him a lot too. I think that is why we are both so worried. We don't want to ruin our friendship but I know that he has feelings for me..

I guess we will figure this all out in time. If we don't then hopefulliy we can still be friends. Right now it's not killing me to talk to him like I thought it would. The only problem is I think that I am just okay with it because I still feel that there is hope for a possible relationship and I don't want to wait for him because I could be missing out on someone else.