What to do-please help!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2005
What to do-please help!
1
Sun, 09-11-2005 - 2:14am
okay, here's the situation. i started dating this guy a little over a year ago. we broke up in january because when we first starting dating i had a boyfriend that lived in another state and i broke up with him for this new guy (whole other situation), but anyways i didn't stop talking to the other guy (when we did talk we would always fight about things) and the guy i was seeing at the time was mad about it (understandable. well anyways i apologized and said i would not talk to him anymore, well the guy kept calling and i would only answer when my bf was there and tell the ex to stop calling (it didn't stop). well anyways after awhile i started this job and my bf thought that i was messing around with this guy i worked with (which i wasn't) and that made it hard. then he started going to his "friends" house or to his brothers house and would stay out all night, so i finally got tired of it and we broke up. well then we started messing around again and talked about getting back together and it never happened because it would be talk one day and then be a week before i would talk to him again. so it pretty much just ended and he had moved back to where he was orginially from. i then graduated college and moved to another state (one state away from him, not intentionally). it had been a few months since i talked to him and one day he called me out of the blue and he came and saw me. we talked again about getting back together then too, but i had dated this psycho guy before moving to the other state and he would call me and i was very terrified of him because he would threaten me. well the guy then just up and left and went back to the state where we met. i hadn't heard from him in 2 months and he called again and i asked why he left and he thought it was because i was going to talk to that guy like the other one and i told him that it was not like that at all. i told him that i had planned on visiting my friends in the town he was at in a week. he told me he would call that night and he didn't and it was a week (the day i drove back). well we spent a lot of time together while i was back and he told me that he was going to move to where i am (he has family here too) after he got things settled there. well he didn't call (but once and i missed that call) and then called a couple of weeks later and we talked again and i said just one more chance. i haven't heard from him since and that was a week ago. i do love him and i want to be with him and he tells me that he loves me and wants to be with me, but it doesn't look like that to much or he would be. what advice does anyone give? please help, i am really upset about this situation and i don't know what games he is playing.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Sun, 09-11-2005 - 4:55am

I don't think that he's intentionally "playing games". Rather, I think that he's either unsure as to whether or not to risk himself on you again.....or, he's just not that into you.

Personally, I think that if a relationship is more off than on, then it's not worth worrying about. Good relationships are generally good from the start.

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