what do u thinks is going on in his head

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2005
what do u thinks is going on in his head
7
Sun, 10-02-2005 - 10:53pm

I told this guy how i felt about him about a week ago at a bar. He had walked into this bar I was at with another woman. We have not discussed being exclusive and can date other people. Well, it kinda hurt to see him with someone else. I asked him if that was his girlfriend and he said that it was an ex girlfriend from high school(he's 27). I don;t know if I believe that. Anyway, at some point in the evening he comes and talks to me for the third time. I start to tell him ho much I liked him and how I was hoping that what we had would develope into something serious. Also told him how comfortable I was when I was with him. He then told me how he always had a good time when we were together. I kept saying " I liked you" and he was like why are saying that past tense. I corrected myself and said I like you. The conversation was pretty intense and we held eye contact he entire time. Well, at the end of the night my friend said she saw him and that girl at the bar and she was rubbing on him and he was pushing her hands off him and looked pretty annoyed with her. At the end of the night I go home crying, thinking that he will never call me or see me ever again, because of our conversaion. Well, because we had been drinking. I wrote him a letter telling him how I felt. Very nice letter.Not sappy. Well, he calls me on a wed @ 2am(did not answer that call). Was floored that he called.Then I Called that day and left a message for him. Never hear from him. Well friday rolls around and I was like you know what I am gonna mail the letter . Two hours after I mailed the letter he called. We hung out that night and had a really good time. I did tell him about the letter and he was cool about it. I just told him that I thought I would never see him again. I tried leaving because I was embarrased about the letter and he didn't want me to leave. Before I left he gave me a kis on the lips goodbye. He was playing with my hand and we just hung out for a little bit( we didn't even have sex) We are supposed to go see
a show together on tuesday.

..IS IT A GOOD SIGN THAT HE DIDN'T WANT ME TO LEAVE AFTER I TOLD HIM ABOUT THE LETTER? I GET THE FEELING THAT HE LIKES ME. I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHAT IS MOST LIKELY GOING THROUGH HIS HEAD. Since he know nows how I feel about him. Did it make him realize his feeling for me. I really would like for us to become serious in the future.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2004
Sun, 10-02-2005 - 11:02pm

To be honest, it doesn't sound like he wants a serious relationship with you. He takes another woman out. The next time he calls you is 2am -- not during the day. Then he calls you Friday to hang out the same night. (And was it a real date or just hanging out?) Regardless of what he said about the letter, those aren't signs of someone wanting to get serious.

If you want a serious relationship, you'd be better off keeping your heart free for someone who wants the same things as you, rather than trying to change this guy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
Mon, 10-03-2005 - 11:28am
He sounds like he is playing around. If you guys are seeing each other and he really liked you, he wouldn't be with anyone else. This is a given regaardles of the whole well we said we could see other people. Yes you said that but have you been seeing other people? Probably not because you want to be with him. ANyone who calls someone that late out of nowhere is not looking for anything serious. I say let him go because he is not taking you or the "relationship" serious at all. I think he cares about you but just not as much as you want him to.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2005
Mon, 10-03-2005 - 8:19pm

ok. I just don't get it, I know he cares (he has told me how much he likes me), but why would he want to do that to my feelings. Do you think know that he knows that I really like him, it would make him think and want to take things seriously? I hate this because you really care about someone and would do anything for them and you wonder if they would do the same thing.
ok. I told him verbally that I really liked him and wrote him a letter. Could I say anything else to see how he feels about being serious? I am willing to take the risk of him running if I bring up the subject too much. Would it be ok to ask: For us to keeping seeing each, is what we have going anywhere? I just want to hear from him how he feels, even though he probably does not feel the same.
Thank you

Ps. We watched the movie Bronx tale on friday and he made a comment to me to pay attention to the"test". What the "test" end up being in the movie was a guy opens the car door for a woman and if she goes to unlock his car door then that is a sign that she is "the one." I am pretty sure that is how it went. Before that scene on the movie, he took me out to his car and I think he ws gonna do the test, but realized he had keyless entry. That is what I think he was doing. Why would he mention the "test"?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2004
Tue, 10-04-2005 - 12:27pm

The next time you're with him you should say, "I like you, and I want to continue spending time with you. But I want a serious relationship. I want us only to date each other and for us to both be committed to making this relationship work long-term. Are you ready for that?"

It's perfectly fair to put your needs out out on the table. And it's important to do so, so you don't spend time with someone who can't -- or won't -- give you what you need.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
Tue, 10-04-2005 - 12:28pm
I would lay off the questions..... Just step back. Now that he knows your feelings he should be telling you his soon. If he doesn't I feel like it's because he is unsure. I mean you can wait it out but don't be so open to him and his wants and needs. As far as the Bronx Tale Test...I think every guy mentions it.....I wouldn't look to into it. Good luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2005
Tue, 10-04-2005 - 2:27pm
I Definetly agree with you. I will have to let him know and if he doesn't feel the same way then I will stop seeing him. The more time I spend with him, the more I like him. If that is not the case for him then he is not worth wasting my time.
Thank You! :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2005
Tue, 10-04-2005 - 2:30pm
HaHa! I had never seen "Bronx Tale" before. I can know see just about every guy who has seen it mention the "test" to a girl. I fell so dorky, that I thought I was something special!! haha :)