What do you think?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2010
What do you think?
Mon, 05-24-2010 - 11:42pm

I'd really appreciate anyone's opinions!

I met guy accidentally by the last possible way I'd ever thought I'd meet someone: on Craigslist. I wasn't looking to even get into a relationship...I was just looking for another person (male or female, strictly platonic) to go to a concert with that was, at the time, months away. This was a very spontaneous idea, as I had never posted something like this before, but I figured, "What the heck! The people are replying to an anonymous post and I don't even have to respond to any of them." The whole reason I even thought about making such a post is that my life is unbelievably busy with school (my program meets 40hrs/week in class) and work, so I just figured it was an easy way to find another Jimmy Buffet fan. :)

So, when I initially received this guy's email (in February of this year), he included a picture of himself and a well written email, interesting enough for me to respond. After exchanging a few emails, we found out that we shared many of the same interests and both had super busy schedules. (He has a growing business that keeps him quite busy.) The fact that he and I shared common interests, ideas, and busy schedules made me even more interested in him, but being the skeptic I can be, I took everything with a grain of salt. After all, I was just looking for a concertgoer and knew that people can make themselves out to be something else over the Internet.

We decided to meet up at a public place prior to the concert date. Personally, I wanted to do this just to make sure that he wasn't psycho and maybe he wanted to do the same. Well, we met at a deli for lunch and had a GREAT conversation, probably due to the fact that we had so much in common! We both couldn't stop talking about how "by chance" our meeting even was--I mean what are the odds that you meet someone the way we did?! Additionally, we mutually agreed that it was really great meeting someone who totally understands the difficulties of our busy schedules.

We then met for dinner about a week later and again had a great conversation. ...And again, I left thinking, "This is too good to be true!" About a week after that, he came over a couple of times to my apartment to watch movies and just hang out. He told me he was extremely attracted to me, which was quite exciting because I'm totally attracted to him as well and by our second movie night, we were having sex.

So the concert was this past weekend and as usual we had a lot of fun. By now, you may be thinking, "So what's your question?" Well, here's the catch:

He runs soccer training programs 9 months out of the year in Texas (where I live currently) and 3 months in the summer in Alaska. He's leaving for Alaska on May 30th and won't be back in Texas until September. As such, I'm still kinda keeping the whole idea of a relationship with this guy open for now...and just wait to see what will happen in September when he returns. Does this sound like a plan? He seems very genuine in that he isn't just constantly flooding me with compliments or other ways to impress me, yet he has expressed on several occasions how he is attracted to me and has also on several occasions been the first to call, text, or suggest an activity to do together. He comes across as someone who is very comfortable with who he is and isn't going to rush into a relationship just to be in one.

One thing I'm kind of wondering about though is this: When I was at his apartment, he didn't really ask me to stay the night, yet we did have sex. (It was the first time I was at his apartment and he did have to go to a training session at 11am the next morning.) I mentioned this to one of my girlfriends, and she thinks I'm overanalyzing and I very well could be. Guys (if there are any out there reading this), what's your opinion? I'd really appreciate your thoughts! Again, I haven't had any gut feelings that this guy is just looking for sex (and I have experienced a relationship like that in the past--horrible!!!)

So, overall, based on what I've said here, do you think this guy is interested in an actual relationship? I'd appreciate any opinions because I'm extremely attracted to the guy, both physically and intellectually, and I think this may only bias my opinion!!! Don't know if this makes any difference, but there is a 6 year age difference: he's 38 and I'm 32. This is not an issue for me and apparently not for him either.

Thanks in advance for your opinions!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2010
Tue, 05-25-2010 - 8:23am



iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2007
Mon, 05-31-2010 - 7:00pm

This really sounds wonderful...like a love story.

And I don't remember where I read this exactly, but I have read that you will meet your soul mate when you are open for a relationship and when you least expect it and that people should frequent places they don't normally go to meet their soul mate because although most people think you have to have alot in common, most soul mates don't.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2007
Wed, 06-02-2010 - 5:47pm

Have you met his friends? Met someone who knows him? Have you seen his work place or business cards or something to confirm he does this for living? I am just wondering what he was doing scanning the CL ads!

I would enjoy the time, proceed cautiously (don't hand out any PIN numbers or anything!), and let it go for for the summer and revisit it when he gets back!