What do you think

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2005
What do you think
6
Wed, 11-23-2005 - 11:49am

Hello,

Would you be mad if your bf that you've been seeing for four months now, did not invite to his family house for Thanksgiving dinner? If so, would you mention to him that you were kinda hoping to go and see what his response is and take it from there?

btw- his parents just recently sepearated and this would be the first time that I would meeting them .

Thanks,
Ravishing

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 11-23-2005 - 11:58am
Personally, I would not be upset. It has only been 4 mos and Thanksgiving is usually a big family gathering where you meet all the family. For such a new relationship I would expect to meet some slowly and over time be ready to meet the whole family. My bf of 6 mos has met a few of my family members I think it is way way to soon for the whole family so since he has met my parents and I have met his kids we will have dinner this weekend after Thanksgiving for them together and avoid the whole Thanksgiving day when so many more are there. If it really bothers you ask him but I personally do not see a problem with not being invited.

Marie

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Wed, 11-23-2005 - 3:56pm

In ordinary circumstances, I would be questioning his commitment to me if I had not met his family at 4 months. DH and I are both family orientated and had met each other's families within a few weeks of dating each other.

However, as his parents have recently separated, I'd be inclined to think that he could be waiting for family emotions to calm before bringing you into the family. This Thanksgiving may not have been very pleasant for the family.

What I do question is why he didn't discuss this with you. If he had made this decision, it would have been only right to say "I wish I could take you, but with the divorce and all, I want to let things settle down a bit"

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 11-23-2005 - 4:08pm
You think in 4 mos you should be going to Thanksgiving? Isn't that a big undertaking in a new relationship? I mean maybe it is just me but 4 mos of dating and coming to meet grandparents, aunts, uncles even those who you have to give explanation to those relatives who may not be so good around new company. I mean he may want to prep them at Thanksgiving on her coming for Christmas. I know my family is crazy and I have to prepare the person I am dating and family on how they are to act. lol

Marie

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
Wed, 11-23-2005 - 5:50pm
This may be a blessing for you since this would be the first time you met parents, there may be some hostility there. My BF of 6 months will not be with me for dinner. We may get together for desert. Maybe say in general conversation that it would have been nice to spend the holiday with him, but don't be irrate about it. He may just be trying to spare you the uncomfortable holiday with all that has happened.
Good Luck,
Jeannine
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Wed, 11-23-2005 - 5:57pm

Actually, I did Xmas with my husband's family when I'd only known him for 3 months. It seemed like the most natural thing in the world. DH's family are crazy too but in a good way. Lots of talking over each other and endless enthusiasm.

(I can't speak for Thanksgiving because we don't do it in Australia. But I would assume that it's similar to Xmas with having all the extended family around)

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Fri, 11-25-2005 - 6:41am
Yes, but no presents--just a lot of food, and football on the TV.