What does a "break" mean to you?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2006
What does a "break" mean to you?
4
Tue, 03-21-2006 - 10:19am

I'm new to this board....and have found by lurking on here..( :) ) that you guys have all been very helpful...wanted to ask you guys your opinion on this....

I've posted this on a few other topics on here as well...

I'm in a LDR now for 8 months....my guy just recently told me he needs a "break"....

I wanted to know what a "break" means to you guys....

Aside from the fact that most people don't think LDRs can work...I just wanted to know your opinions on what a "break" is to you....I'm getting different opinions from my friends...some say a "break" is a break up for good....while some are saying a "break" just means he needs time away to think about things....

He keeps saying we need a break for right now. But then he'll say it's a break for good for right now.... :( Is this "break for now" his NICE way of dumping me? :(

Any opinions would be appreciated :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2005
Tue, 03-21-2006 - 11:14am

....."But then he'll say it's a break for good for right now...."..... My boyfriend asked for time away from each other to think.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
Tue, 03-21-2006 - 12:14pm

I guess it really depends on the situation at hand. If it's been 8 months, you should see how the relationship was and where it was going before the breakup. If it was getting a bit hot and heavy, then maybe it was too much for him. Was there some kind of "pressure" or "issues" going on in his life right now? Or if you starting talking about a "future" and anything beyond that, that could have scared him off. Or he could have been getting bored or disinterested in you, and wanted to "bow out" in a nice way. In my general opinion, I would just move on.

A lot of times, short RL really don't bounce back like that, even more so when you are younger. It's more often when you have been with someone or have known someone for years is when it's a bit more structured. When your older you have a better sense of security and stability in your life.

There's 2 things that are going on with him, for one he's really confused and two he's trying to be nice to you that he can't do it anymore(or for good). Think about it, if a guy says 2 different things, don't you think it would be nice if you let him figure it out on his own and just let him go? Just keep in mind that "ex's" do come back whether it be a few weeks or months... but they almost always do. So keep in mind that thought for the future.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2006
Tue, 03-21-2006 - 12:28pm

Thanks you guys.... :)

He definitely is confused....but he also said he feels pressured....he feels that I want to be married with kids already and he feels the pressure that this all has to happen NOW. I've never said anything about having kids, being married to him..etc....but his family always teases us....He's actually my best friend's brother-in-law....so that's how we met...through her and her husband.

I guess no matter how I feel or what I want...I need for him to take this "BREAK"...funny thing is right now it doesn't seem like a break...we're still talking every or every other day...but it's not about us...just about life/things in general.

He said he's always felt this pressure...and now he just needs a break from it all.....but ofcourse because I like him so much...I'm hoping it's just a tiny break. We'll be seeing each other in two weeks when I'm visiting my best friend...I guess it'll be kept on a "friendly" level...unless he says or does more.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2003
Tue, 03-21-2006 - 3:43pm
A break...generally means you 2 aren't dating right now...you are free to see others (on a friendly basis)...time to think, revamp, figure out what you want and need, to make sure you are still your own person...