What does space mean to you?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
What does space mean to you?
7
Sat, 03-18-2006 - 8:18pm

What does space mean to you?



  • It's over and he has moved on
  • They are going through things and will be back
  • They have found someone else
  • Other (please explain)


You will not be able to change your vote.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Sat, 03-18-2006 - 8:20pm
I know this question is a bit vague but I wanted people to vote and then also get some experinces. I am sure this has happened to many of us and I wanted to see if you said it what you meant and what happened afterwards and if someone has said it to you what happened afterwards.
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
Sat, 03-18-2006 - 8:55pm
This is a tough call because it depends, and when someone tells me that they need space I ask them to clarify that with me. I've had 2 boyfriends tell me they needed more space and I think it was because we were hanging out so often, like at least 5-6 times per week and they wanted to cut it down to 3-4 times per week which I was fine with because sometimes people just need to take a step back, reevaluate things and not spend every waking minute of each day with each other. People need their alone time. I guess if the guy were to say to me that he was questioning us and whether we were right for each other I would take that to mean that he's thinking of breaking it off and moving on.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2005
Sat, 03-18-2006 - 9:08pm

Unfortunately I think space can mean any of those things, thats why I opted for other. I remember years and years ago when I was 19 I was dating a guy for about a year, he wanted space, and then he came back and wanted to date others, then we broke up!! LOL Funny how at 45 I remember that like it was yesterday. That guy BROKE my heart!! LOL I mean I was sure he was the one, as we all do at that young age.

In my relationship now, you all who have read my posts, know that its happened to me with him. He asked for space and was right there 24 hours later!! He came to me in those 24 hours with a different demeanor and attitude. I think after he said it, he got scared of what he said, and was sorry he said it. That was in the middle of January after I told him I loved him. Since then our relationship has blossomed and grown into something so much better. I remember him telling me he didnt sleep well that night after the space talk. He said I was on his mind. Personally I think my guy lives in a state of denial of his feelings for me. But thats okay, I realized he'll come to terms with them sometime.

So this time, space was a good thing, even though it only lasted 24 hours !!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2004
Sun, 03-19-2006 - 12:34am

To me it means that too much time is being spent with the other person, and I need time for myself and other aspects of my life.

I have only told one guy that I wanted space. He was constantly calling, emailing, and visiting me and it was too overwhelming. I like balance in my life, and he was crossing the line. When I asked for space, I didn't think about breaking up with him, all I cared about was getting my independence back. But, when he refused to give me space, I was so mad. I was adamant at getting my time for me back that I flat out broke up with him. Which was the right thing to do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2005
Sun, 03-19-2006 - 9:22pm

My boyfriend asked for a bit of time, not exactly space not too long ago.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2006
Mon, 03-20-2006 - 5:00am

Sandra,

Great post and a great ending!! Sometimes time and space can be a good thing, it makes us realize what we have and how important it is to us. I think the fact that you were both miserable during that time says alot about your relationship and feelings for one another.

I think space comes in many different forms. When I first started dating my guy, we dated about a month and a half, and he was the one driving the "truck" too. Then one night out of the blue, he calls and says we cant see each other anymore. I was hurt and confused, trying to understand how we went from one to another so fast. Well after about one month of no contact, he called. I was slow to react to him, but finally agreed to meet him for dinner, from that moment on things soared again!!

Good luck to you !!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2006
Tue, 03-21-2006 - 4:08pm
I chose "other" because it may never mean ONE specific thing. I have been slipped the "space" card a few times, and luckily he has always come back- even after he said he may not, or there isn't really a chance. Well, I think guys and maybe girls tell their significant others that they need space because theyre not happy, and they want to think about the relationship, or just simply get a breath of air. Sometimes after they get their space they miss you, or they figure out what can be changed so the relationship can have another chance. However, other times... they can say they need space only to distance themselves from you... and eventually tell you its over. This just shows to prove that space doesnt mean one thing particularly... it depends on the person making the decision to take the space.