what is going on?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2003
what is going on?
1
Sat, 07-23-2005 - 8:44pm

I am now 21 years old, and my boyfriend is 20. Well I am going to make a long story short...or try to. We both turned down best friends we were both probably going to start relationships with in the future to go out with each other. THe best friend I turned down, I really liked, and get along with perfectly. He's not the best looking, but I still think he's such a great guy, and very genuine. He doesn't go to my school, and my boyfriend now does. Well, I've been going out with my boyfriend now for a month, and I don't feel very close to him. He has other activities it seems like he'd rather be doing than hang out with me. I always end up going out with friends, etc. He's not a big drinker, so he doesn't go to the bars with me, and he doesn't have the money to go out, but he uses the money for his hobby instead. Like he is being a gentleman and not wanting me to pay all the time, but he also doesn't like to spend money, so we end up never doing much together except sitting around at home doing nothing. I don't feel like we have that "connection" that I had with my ex, who I was with for 5 months. He's such a great guy as well, but I am just not very attracted to him. The thing is, I started recently hanging out with my ex, and we are like exactly the same in every way and had such great times together and still do when we hang out. I feel like I did when we were so in love before. I really like him, but feel deeply that he doesn't tell me some things, but I also know he would want to get back together with me. He has so many family issues and financial issues, and health issues, and I am not so attracted to him...but besides those issues I am so wanting to get back with him. So right now, I feel like i must choose what to do...and my boyfriend is definitely the best looking of all three, but doesn't pay much attention to me...even though I have talked to him about it. And my ex would want me back, but the only issue is, he's very emotional and I'm not very attracted to him, but he's perfect in every other way except for some family,health, and financial problems he has. He pays so much attention to me and loves me so much...and we were going to get married. I feel like every time we hang out, we're supposed to be together. My friend from the other school would also go out with me, and he's a great guy as well...no issues with him yet, except that I don't find him SO attractive. What should I do?? please help me!!! I don't know who I am supposed to be with and I don't know what to do. :( thanks.

Edited 7/23/2005 8:58 pm ET ET by bballj68




Edited 7/23/2005 9:09 pm ET ET by bballj68
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Sun, 07-24-2005 - 8:45am

Easy answer: you're not supposed to be with either of them. When the perfect guy comes along, you will have no doubts.

Also, when you find the perfect guy, his looks won't play into it. His wonderful personality will make the issue of his appearance null and void.

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