What is up with this guy?
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| Fri, 08-12-2005 - 9:18pm |
I joined this community years ago (surprised I still remembered the PW) but have not been on in years. Reading through it you folks here seemed to have some really good advice and opinions on relationship matters so I was wondering if you could offer a little insight into a confusing man problem. (sorry in advance for it being so long :)
I met this guy who I will call "Z", as a customer, through my work. Since I work as a waitress now I meet a lot of different people sitting at my tables and was really not wanting to get involved with anyone from my job.
Z started coming in three times a week but would hardly talk to me and act very shy. Then he sent me really nice flowers with a card and his number on it. I thanked him for the roses but didn't really want to go out with him. He is cute and when he came in he was more talkative to me. When we started talking more about ourselves because he was coming in during the slow times, we found out that we do have a lot of things in common. Still would not date him though I found him growing more attractive to me. I was dating someone at the time and don't like to date more than one person.
Things didn't go so well with the guy I was dating, so after three months of talking to Z I agreed to meet him at a casual restaurant for dinner. After the dinner he made it very clear that he wanted to see me again.
Things with Z were progressing nicely over the next month. We did not see each other every day since he has a graveyard shift job, but it was a few times a week. I have been to his house, met his close friends who seem to genuinely like me and have accepted me into thier little group and he has told me that he "sees me as someone he could eventually fall for" twice. We started having sex around the month mark because he was really becoming someone whom I thought was sincerely interested in me and having some sort of future together. Hell, he was even asking me if I could get time off in October for an trip to Europe he wanted to take me on that he goes on every year.
He then asked me if I wanted to move in with him at around the month and a half mark because I'm having awful problems with my current roommate situation but am having difficulty finding another place to live. I didn't think that it would be a good idea to rush into things like moving in so soon and I told him I would like to try to find my own place but that I would really consider it.
Around this time he also said that he would like to consider me his girlfriend.
About two weeks later... all of a sudden he was "busy".
Suddenly, his phone bill was outrageous so he "wasn't making many phone calls anymore"
BUT, he would still text me every day with cute little messages and email. For some reason our schedules would not line up and I didn't see him for three weeks even though he would text often.
I got fed up with the texting and told him that if he wanted to see me or have me come over he could give me a short phone call, because I felt that was what I deserved.
A month and a half ago Z started being able to see me again, but this time it is different. For some reason, I can only go over to his place during the weekdays I have off and only until about 4-5 PM when he says he needs to sleep. (Remember that he does work a graveyard shift) He has also gotten more involved with a community project that he has been doing for 4 years and had training for his job. He has also been on many out of town, weekend trips that he has not told me about until after the fact.
I don't really see his friends anymore either but when I do see one every so often in passing, they do seem happy to see me.
Basically, it boiled down to.. I come over, we hang out at his place, we do it and then for some reason I have to go.
Yep, I feel I have been regulated to the "booty call" even though he insists that isn't what it is. It makes me feel like crap and he is still "super busy". He says that he is really trying to make time for me, but it is hard to do with his schedule.
What I haven't told Z yet was that since I'm feeling this way, I'm not going to have sex with him anymore. Last Monday was it.
Here is the kicker.
I wrote him an email last night after he wrote me one asking about how my apartment hunting was going. I told him that I think I'm going to be stuck with my crappy roomates until my car is paid off in 4 months because I just can't afford a place on my own right now.
He not only asked me to move in with him again but reminded me to try get time off from work so we could go on that trip on October. When I emailed him back with an "Are you serious about this?" his one word email I just got back was "Yes".
Personally, with everything that has happened in the past two months I'm even more hesitant about doing something like that. I'm going to wait and tell Z that I'm not going to sleep with him for a while and then see what happens after but.. that email really made me do a "WTF?".
So, my question to all of you is... what do you all make of this?
I for one, am very confused.
| Fri, 08-12-2005 - 11:23pm |
