what is his deal??

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2003
what is his deal??
3
Mon, 04-10-2006 - 5:20pm
I met this guy 3years ago, he was just starting law school, and i was going back to school for a degree in nursing. over the course of the 3 years we dated, not very hard core. we maybe went out once or twice every 3 months. he was kind of "on the back burner". we never had sex over these 3 years, it was very casual dating. he claimed he was too busy for a relationship because school was his priority (which he is #1 in his class). it was frustrating to me cause although i didnt show it, i always wanted more. so last year at this time i gave up and ended up moving from RI to MA for a job. after i cut things off he tried to date my really good friend which was sketchy, but i guess allowed. so a year has gone by (we've now known each other for 4 years) and he contacts me through email saying he is almost done with school and will have more time and he's been thinking a lot about me and would like to see me agian. after some thinking i decided what the heck. so i went out with him saturday night(2 nights ago). things were a bit more "hot and heavy" and i thought things went well but all ive gotten so far is a text message saying he had a good time and he hopes i did too. do you think this is appropriate?? i just feel like things will end up the same way, no progression! i really like him but maybe he will never have time?? how can i move things along or do you all think its hopeless if nothing has happened after this long?? how about dating etiquette, when should he call me? keep in mind, i think school really is his priority and i dont think he has all that much dating expereince. help!! what you you all think???
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 04-11-2006 - 4:36am

stephstar333..

Pianoguy thinks you've already answered your own question.

If you don't thing the relationship will lead to anything....since "school appears to be a priority" with the gentleman....how can YOU possibly expect to become more important?

So chalk up the "hot and heavy session" to one of life's pleasurable, but brief experiences! Then move on.

By the way...I hate text messages. They're basically very cold. If the gentleman had any serious plans for you two, he would have set up something in the way of a 2nd date after "your night of passion" together! :)

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2006
Tue, 04-11-2006 - 10:03pm

Stephstar-

This guy isn't worth your time. A text message? Really...

There are so many road signs you have ignored- make a detour now and forget about this guy.

1- Guys are never too busy to call (I dated a law student who was top in the class...while I was in law school too) Amazingly enough, you really do not study 24 hours a day. He had time to spend with you, but apparently didn't think enough of you to do so (pity the poor fool....)

2- He dated your good friend. ok, wait...he dated your good friend??? And this man is still in your running for a potential Mr. Right?!? Ummm, no. How dare he date a friend of the fabulous you!! This should have sent your running the other way instantly.

3- Ok, so you went out with him. Fine. Second chances are ok. Unfortunatley, he blew it when he decided to merely TEXT you. Seriously? You are FABULOUS. You deserve nothing but the best. If he really likes you- he would want to call you and hear your fabulous voice.

Don't beat yourself up over missing the signs or getting hot and heavy with the moron. It's just one of the many lessons you and I and every other single woman have learned on the road to finding Mr. Right.

Good Luck!

Savannah
www.ontheroadtomrright.com

PS- Since you're a nurse, might I suggest a doctor? Hee hee. I'm a lawyer and most of the lawyers I dated were a bunch of dweebs!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2003
Tue, 04-11-2006 - 10:50pm
thanks for your responses! i think you are both right, i think sometimes you just need someone to bluntly put it in front of you. i just never understood why he would stay in contact with me for over 3 years but i guess it doesnt matter. luckily like i sad he was alwyas on the back burner. i guess i just want to find the right one and sometimes do more than i should to try to find him! a doctor would be nice, hehee. and he is a moron!