What is up with me?
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| Thu, 03-09-2006 - 12:24am |
Bare with me on the background folks.
August-December of 03, I dated a cop, Dave, who was in the marine reserves who was 40 and never married. We lived practically down the street from each other and met via Match.com. We hit it off and saw each other as much as possible. He trained other marines so his schedule allowed him to go home on weekends. We saw each other on weekends and talked almost every night. There was great chemistry and friendship. After Thanksgiving (which we did not spend together) he was discharged and began his regular job again. He called me and told me that he wanted to discuss our relationship. He revealed that he had problems with getting too close in relationships and probably needed to seek counseling. He didn't know if I was the right one or not and he knew I wanted something serious and he wasn't sure how mcuh he could give. I was devastated. We broke up.
I went to counseling. Six months later, I began dating Roy in October of '04. We broke it off this January after over a year of dating. I am relieved because it was shaky since August.
My problem is that lately, I have wanted to contact Dave again. I find myself fantasizing that he ws a much better partner for me than Roy. I don't miss Roy all that much and we were together for over a year and I find myself thinking of Dave. Has this happened to you after a break-up? What is wrong with me? Neither of them could go the distance. I am upset with myself and so curious at the same time.

This has happened to me before. When I leave one person and knowing he wasn't as good as the one before makes me want to revert back to that one. But, I just focus on why we broke up and begin to take care of me. It is normal but do not let you mind play tricks on you that things maybe can work this time. Be honest with yourself as he was with you that he has a problem with getting close and as long as he has not sought counseling to figure out why then he is still the same and it is best to either deal with him at a distance or not at all.