What Would You Do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-04-2005
What Would You Do?
5
Sun, 12-04-2005 - 5:20am
Well, i'm in love deeply with this guy at work. he knows how much i admire him and i think about him. my problem is he has a girlfriend. i know thats wrong but i can't find myself strong enough to let go. i hear how badly she treats him and i know if we had a chance i would be so good to him. he has been with her for almost three years and he hasnt any plans to propose. i always feel there may be a little bit of hope. i got half ny friends telling me to move on and the other half telling me to follow my heart and just wait to see what happens. i am so confused. can somebody help me with this?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 12-05-2005 - 7:40am

laurie032000...

Pianoguy is slightly confused.

If this man ALREADY HAS A GIRLFRIEND...and he's willing to put up with her behavior (good or bad)....what makes you think he'll abandon her in order to have a relationship with you? Doesn't a 3-year realtioship with the SAME WOMAN tell you something???

I agree with the half of your NY friends who believe you should MOVE ON!

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 12-05-2005 - 11:15am
I second that..... move on. Apparently he is happy with his relationship to stick in. Just because you only hear the bad doesn't mean it is all bad. Work is where he may come to vent about the not so good times no indication he is in an unhappy relationship. How would you feel if you were the woman in this situation and someone was after your long term bf because they felt they could treat him better. Give it up and find someone who is available.

Marie

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2005
Mon, 12-05-2005 - 11:25am
How can you be "deeply in love" with a man that you've never had a relationship with? I think the word would be infatuation. Also, as they say there is always two sides to every story and you don't know how he treats his girlfriend and he might have a large part in the fights. Like the others said if he has been with her for three years so there must be something that he loves that is keeping him in that relationship and you need to move on and find a man that is free to love you. Would you really want to be with a man that left his girlfriend to be with you? He could turn around and do the same thing to you.
BABY #3!!
 
Pregnancy ticker
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2005
Mon, 12-05-2005 - 4:10pm
I agree with the others. If things were that bad he'd make a change. If he's been in this relationship for 3 yrs. and still hasn't married this girl then maybe he's got commitment issues. Obviously it's good enough for him to stay with her. He probably complains to coworkers because he likes the attention. I definitely agree that you should look elsewhere.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2004
Tue, 12-06-2005 - 2:34am
I absolutely agree with everyone else. Move on. You can't really love someone you don't really know. Talking in the office can cause infatuation but not love. If he's still with this girl regardless of the fights then maybe he enjoys the making up more then you realize. Some couples are addicted to drama. Forget him.