What's a girl to do?
Find a Conversation
What's a girl to do?
| Tue, 03-08-2005 - 12:31am |
Ok, here's the deal: This past weekend was my brother's wedding and I was a bridesmaid in it. Since it was a fair distance away from my home, I stayed at my brother's apartment with his two groomsmen. It was fairly awkward for me since I'm 18 and these guys were well into their 20's, so you can imagine staying with two older men who I didn't even know would be odd for a girl who's never had a boyfriend. Anyways, I started talking with one of my brother's friends,(we'll call him Bob), and we really clicked. Right away I could tell Bob was very interested in me and kept commenting on how well I've turned out. (Not to mention he's got a great personality and sense of humor.) As the wedding activities progressed, we started hanging out and sitting next to each other every opportunity we could and we talked about all sorts of stuff. He said he couldn't believe I was only 18, because I act so much more mature than most high schoolers. So, finally, at the end of the reception he asked me for my number and wanted me to call him sometime and just tell him what's going on with my life. We exchanged numbers and hugged and said our final goodbyes, but neither one of us knew if we were ever going to see each other again since he lives three hours away and the only way we'd see each other is if there was another mutual wedding to attend. I feel confused right now because we're at different stages in our life, he's nearly ten years older than me and he's a junior high school teacher. Do you think it's weird that a man who seemingly has a good career ahead of him would hit on an 18 year old girl who's ten years younger than himself?

Pages
"...Do you think it's weird that a man who seemingly has a good career ahead of him would hit on an 18 year old girl who's ten years younger than himself?..."
No. Of course he is going to hit on you if you are hot and available.
Oh, and I didn't know that "junior high school teacher" was considered a "good career" in the US. I thought it was a pretty crappy gig.
First off...his career wasn't the question at hand here, and I don't agree that it's a crappy gig!!
Steffy
CO-cl of Is It Meant to Be?
Thank you Steffy! I knew there was someone I wanted to repremand (sp?) because of the teacher comment!
Male Teacher are few and far between and it IS a great gig. Like Steffy said, YES chances are he's under paid, but A TEACHING JOB IS NOT A CRAPPY GIG. What on Earth kind of comment is that anyway?? Teaching is a fantastic career choice and here in the U.S. we need more people, especially MEN to make that choice.
That comment makes me sooo angry and was COMPLETELY unnecessary.
Edited 3/8/2005 4:39 pm ET ET by kristigirlnluv
DO I think it is wrong, yes I do. I do not agree with the other posters. As you stated you both are in two different periods of your life right now. Maybe in 10 yrs you two can talk and be on the same level but he will soon be 30 and may begin thinking of settling down especially if all his friends does within a few yrs. Then where does that leave you 21? While your friends are in college and having a good time you will be dating a much older man who may not want to do the things you find fun at 21-24. JMHO, I wouldn't do anything but maybe call in a couple yrs and see how things are going but not think in terms of long term or even possible dating right now.
ETA... This is coming from someone who married at 18 had my son at 19 and my sons father was just a few yrs older then me but after my son he was like an old man where as my friends were having the time of there life or atleast being young. Here I am now with a 7 y/o but they just had there children and we are all definitely on different planes. Ok, I may have went to far off the original post here but I hope you get the picture.
Well, not sure how ucky it is, but my xh is 33 and his gf is 23 or something like that. All I can say is this............you're very right that you two are at two VERY different pionts in your life. You do a LOT of growing in your 20's.
My suggestion? Talk to your brother. Ask him that you and Bob hit it off, and what does he think? If he doesn't feel you should pursue it, don't. If he doesn't agree with you dating a friend of his, don't. Basically, since Bob is your brother's friend, I feel you should get your brother's approval.
Also, since you haven't really dated, I think you should stay away. I"m sorry, but I talked to my xh about his gf. And well, I KNOW he likes her because she's naive, innocent, and well, she NEEDS him (she can't even call the cable company herself), and well, he ALWAYS needed to feel needed.
I mean, do you see yourself settling down in the next 2-5 years? Having kids? Owning a home? Married? etc? I ask, cuz at his age, I'm sure he'll want to. Or, he may even be willing to wait until he's 35 or so......can you even at this point in youyr life, wonder where you'll be at 25?
I think you should date around, experience life, enjoy your early 20's single or not in too serious of a r'ship. Because that is your time for HUGE growth. BTDT. lol. BTW, I got married at 23. I felt so mature in life, but in reality, I wasn't. Not enough to have a decent marriage. My xh was 30, he was even more immature about it than I was.
"...First off...his career wasn't the question at hand here, and I don't agree that it's a crappy gig!! I think it's quite possibly the most UNDERPAID, but not crappy at all and I have NO CLUE why you found it necessary to slam the guy in questions career ..."
I didn't slam the guy. I respect him for choosing teaching if that is what he really wants to so. What I meant was that from everything I have read, heard (and seen on tv), teaching in the US is not all that great. You are underpaid, you get abuse from parents and students, the school buildings are in very poor condition and every now and then someone goes off the deep end and opens fire with an automatic in the cafeteria.
That is not exactly what I'd like to call a dream job and it is definately not a job I would think Americans would refer to as a "good carreer". That was what I meant
Edited 3/9/2005 2:18 am ET ET by jonasaberg
Thank you for explaining... I just read it as a very unnecessary slam to someone's career when the career had nothing to do with the question.
Steffy
CO-cl of Is It Meant to Be?
Pages