What's going on here!? Please help

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2006
What's going on here!? Please help
3
Tue, 03-14-2006 - 5:51pm

About three weeks ago my boyfriend and I of nearly two years broke up. He was my first love and I was pretty sad at first, but I got over it quickly as I realized that life was better without him and that he had never really treated me the way I wanted anyway. I'm starting to feel that towards the end of our relationship I was hanging on to him as a habit despite my waning feelings for him.

Now this new guy comes along and becomes interested in me very quickly. I am so attracted to him too, but I feel like if I get involved with him too fast I'll be some kind of a Gertrude or something (the Queen in Hamlet who got remarried just two months after the king died.) Is there some kind of a courtesy period after a serious break up that I shouldn't be seeing anyone? I'm afraid if I turn down NewGuy now that I might lose him. And no, I don't believe I'm rebounding; he just came at this point in time...

Dazed & Confused,
~Allison

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2003
Tue, 03-14-2006 - 9:16pm
It seems that IT IS a rebound, as you're finding things that your previous relationship lacked of. After breaking up it's advisable to take time for yourself to get over the break up. Even if your ex didn't treat you like you deserve and you seem to be happy to be single again, you need time to decide what you want and need in a relationship. The fact that this new guy is going too fast may have you put your wants and needs in the back burner and they may even be "blinded" by the attention new feelings you're having. I'd recommend to slow down. If he's true he'll be there when you're ready.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2006
Wed, 03-15-2006 - 3:22pm
I don't think there is a time period that you MUST give I think if you feel completely over the ex, then why not? Seems like you were ready along time ago to move on, so go along and enjoy what the future brings you. You don't need anyone to tell you that, I'm sure you all ready know it's ok. Hope the new guy is a keeper! :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 03-15-2006 - 3:55pm
i SECOND THAT
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