what's his deal?
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| Thu, 06-02-2005 - 7:03pm |
OK, maybe you guys can help. There's this guy who I interact with at my job...he doesn't work for the same company as me, but we have to talk every so often.
Last week, he called me out of the blue on my cell to work on this project. The protocol is to call into the office, but he called me directly. Anyway, we met up to work on the project and ended up spending alot of time together. It was 10PM by the time we finished, and he asked me out for a drink, but I was on call and had to go right away. After I left, he called me a few minutes later and my cell phone was out of range so it went right to voicemail. He said in the message that he didn't want me to feel left out and that he had a cold beer sitting in front of him. I called him back 20 minutes later, but got his voicemail and left him a message to make sure he had a drink for me and thanking him for his help on the project.
I didn't hear back from him and I couldn't help it anymore, so I called him a few days later and asked him when he would take me out for my cold beer. He sort of laughed and didn't really answer. He was just about to go into a meeting and so he told me to call him later. I took it as just a way to end the conversation and didn't call back.
Tuesday, he called because I guess we drove by each other on the road today and he waved at me but I didn't see him. So he called me on my cell and gave me a hard time about not waving. He said I used to call, write, etc. but now he doesn't even get a wave. We talked for a bit and had a good conversation, we were both laughing and making jokes. Then he asked me for updates on some of our projects. I filled him in and he asked me what I'm up to now. I told him that I was on my way to see a client. Then nothing...not, what are you doing later, or after work, or tomorrow, or this weekend...nothing.
I'm so frustrated. Should I have been more forward and just asked him out...again? What now? I feel like he definitely likes me but he just can't muster up the courage to ask me out. I have already put it out there that I want to go out for a drink. Should I just move on? Please help.

It sounds as if, his offer (the first time) was made out of convenience. He had just spent a few hours with you, it was late... so he figured "why not see where the late night drinks lead us." That's my impression. I just sense by reading your post, that he saw the other night, as an "opportunity."
I even fear, that had the two of you hooked up that night, you may have opened yourself up, to become the latest tidbit of company/office gossip. I don't think this guy is sincerely interested. I just don't get the vibe from reading your post. Sorry.
Jazzy.
I'm 27 and he's 36. A bit of an age difference, I know. He recently got out of a relationship wiht a woman who was 29.He's also divorced--no kids. I'm beginning to see that he may just be playing games with me, as hard as it is to admit. I'm pretty tough, and so any advice or comments I can take. I'm guessing that guys think that I should not contact him again?
If it were me, I'd let this one go.
The first poster may be right and even if she's not, personally, I don't think he seems to be worth the effort. But then I like guys who go after what they want and don't just flirt endlessly.
Uggh. I don't know why, but even when I read back my post, I still think that he's interested and is just shy or feels weird about dating someone who is work related. I am obviously very biased though because I really like this guy. But actions speak louder than words, and he has not called again. I'm sure that I will meet up again with him in the future on a project, and I know that I will still be interested. I suppose I could play games too and act aloof or whatever. I was just never into that. I do send my own mixed messages and maybe that's what is putting him off. Who knows. Anyway, I'll just try to keep on enjoying my life...that seems to be the most often given advice on these boards anyway.