What's in his head?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2005
What's in his head?
3
Mon, 05-23-2005 - 2:18pm
Hello to you all!Here is the thing. There is this guy for who I used to have a crush and I've known him since high school meaning for about 9 years. He seems to be totaly into me ,by his body language , he's nervous around me and stares a lot (so much that people ask me what's going on with him) but never acts on it. I assumed he just wasn't that into me several years ago and I've moved on with my life still I can't help wondering why he acts like that, I mean for someone who is not interested it's been a long time!!!
Plus I see this thing happening to many girls I know.Why guys act like that? Are they that much scared? Or are they just lazy?
just wondering...
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2004
Tue, 05-24-2005 - 8:38am

There's only one real way to know what's in his head and that would be for you to ask HIM.

Having said that... IMO he's had nine years to act on any feelings he might have for you so I would say, you're right he's not that into you. I'd also say the reason he acts that way is because he knows at one time YOU WERE that into him and it probably makes him uncomfrotable becasue he has never had those feelings for you in return.

My fiance has a female friend who had a crush on him. In his own words, "She can't feel that way about me because if I thought she had those feelings about me I couldn't be friends with her it would just be too weird. She's like a little sister to me."

No one is comfortable being around someone they think has feelings for them they don't return. Some people are good at hiding their discomfort, other people aren't so good. I would say this friend of yours falls into the not so good at hiding his discomfort category.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2005
Tue, 05-24-2005 - 12:29pm
I see your point! the same thoughts entered my mind. But on the other hand why is he staring all the time? Plus I only see him on holidays as he and I study away from home (he in another country actually).I 've seen him turn down girls before and he is usually so cool about it ,that's why I find his behaviour weird. The most reasonable explanation I can think of is that he is not that into me, plus because all the girls are after him (he's really good looking) he either doesn't know how or doesn't bother to go after someone.
Anyway it's kind of weird because for some reason I see him all the time at the most impropable places ,always staring and I don't know what to do (I don't want to be too friendly in case he sues me for sexual harassment :D )
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2004
Tue, 05-24-2005 - 2:08pm

Just be yourself and don't sweat what he's thinking. If he was interested he'd ask. Just roll with it, the reason it seems like he's staring may be because you subconsciencely spend a lot of time thinking about and looking at him and he's trying to figure out why you keep looking at him.

The bottom line is if you like him either tell him or just move on. All this line of thinking will do is make you nuts.