What's your opinion of "He's Just Not...
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What's your opinion of "He's Just Not...
| Fri, 08-05-2005 - 11:31am |
What's your opinion of "He's Just Not That Into You"?
- I love it because it makes me be realistic rather than blindly hopeful.
- I like it, but I have some issues with it.
- I haven't read it but I plan to!
- I have no opinion because I haven't read it and DO NOT plan to.
- I don't like it, but I guess there was some truth to it.
- I hate it because now I feel hopeless.
You will be able to change your vote.

I saw Greg Behrendt on Oprah, like many (dare I say all?) of us did.
"YES!!!", I thought. "Finally, a guy who's giving us all the signs to look for to tell us how much, if at all, a guy likes us!" Finally, a guy who's saying, "Don't put up with a guy who causes you to make excuses for his behavior!"
Then I started dating a guy in mid-December 2004 and I really liked him. He seemed to really like me too. He was nice, funny, considerate, took me out on dates, introduced me to his friends and he even bought me a Christmas present! He was a great kisser and never tried to push me further than I wanted to go, which was pretty slowly, since I'm not always the best judge of a guy. He even went into Boston for First Night with me even though he didn't really want to. I thought he really liked me a lot.
Then he stopped calling as often.
"He's just busy", I told myself. "He works nights and sleeps through most of the day. He's just tired."
Then I thought about the book, and started to look for signs that he just wasn't that into me. I realized that I was the one doing 95% of the calling, so I bought the book and read it cover to cover.
In chapter 2 Greg says, "He's Just Not That Into You If He's Not Calling You" so I did a little experiment. Before I had gotten to that chapter, I had called him and left a voicemail asking him to call me back. After reading it, I decided that I would not call him again. He returned my call a day or two later, and we talked for about 20 minutes. Then I had to go eat dinner, so I said casually, "I have to get going; dinner's ready. Give me a call later, ok?" He said, "Okay" and he still hasn't called back. That was in the begining of January.
As difficult as it is not to be "Stubbornly Optimistic" (this is what my friends and family call me) this book has helped me immensely! I no longer stare at my cell phone, willing it to ring when I like a guy and am hoping that he calls. If he doesn't call, then he just wasn't that into me.
I feel enlightened. I feel a release.
And that's what it's really all about. No games, no bull. Just be yourself. But also, recognize when a guy just isn't that into you.
Because we ALL deserve a guy who thinks we're the best thing that has ever happened to him. Sure, some guys take a little longer than others to get QUITE to that point, but he should at least be crazy about you and make sure that you never doubt his feelings for you, right? :-)
Don't waste the pretty!!
~Susan/30/MA
None of the above...my response would be more along the lines of "I agree wholeheartedly and it just confirms what my common sense already told me" ;-).
Sheri
I agree. I too have read the book and lets face it, it's not really telling us anything we don't already know deep down but when it's coming from a bloke you suddenly start accepting it. It takes away the need us women feel to make excuses for guys who just aren't into us and makes life a lot more simple.
You don't have to be harsh, just realistic, it saves so much time and heartache... believe in yourself and the right guy will find you. Make them work for a piece of your life!!
We're all worth more than the guys we make excuses for so take a deep breath, get a grip and
'Don't waste the pretty!!'
Pretty amusing read too so if your feeling low, go buy it
ITA. You took the words right out of my mouth....
BTW Sheri, I think his book could even apply to a marriage where emotional infidelity has occurred and hubby refuses to *give up* his "female colleague-friend." When this happened in my former marriage, even though he was my HUSBAND, it became quite clear that he just wasn't that into me anymore. And you know what? The feeling was mutual! I decided I had enough and left him one day while he was at work -- probably with her!
Heymum ... who's been happily divorced since June '03.