Why????

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2009
Why????
6
Sat, 05-23-2009 - 1:56am

Once in a life time a person meets a partner that seems to be too perfect. The relationship is everything both parties dreamed it would be, sometimes better.

We share a lot in common with each other, our likes/dislikes etc.
We hardly ever seem to have any of those uncomfortable pauses you sometimes get. Actually cant remember any.

We had relatively open lines of communication, we had a lot of frank discussions.
We gave each other more than enough space to do our own things. Each have our own hobbies that we pursue as well.
Together we compliment one another to a scary degree. Its as though we complete one another.

In short everything seems perfect...!!!

Issue:
GF has just come out of a long term (5 year) relationship which she ended with her ex. Was out of relationship for 5 months or so when we met up.
She recently moved into her own apartment and from there our relationship went downhill. To the point where she broke it off because she wasn't happy.

Question:
Does anyone know what is going on here?
Is there hope?
Do i forget everything and move on?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
In reply to: ticking12000
Sat, 05-23-2009 - 1:29pm

I disagree, there may very well be several times in your life when you meet someone with whom things seem perfect. I'm not sure how long you were with this girl but she decided she was not happy with you and moved on. When someone breaks up with you, it doesn't mean "I want to talk about what happened" or "I want to work on things" it means "everything considered, I do not want to be in a relationship with you anymore".

I can't give you any answers except the one you've been given by her which ultimately is the one that matters. She doesn't want to be with you so you don't have much of a choice but to and move on.

I wish you had given some more specifics about what happened or how things "went downhill" so that I could try to help you figure out what went wrong, but it just seems like things weren't as happy for her as they were for you and the reason doesn't really matter anymore.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2008
In reply to: ticking12000
Sat, 05-23-2009 - 2:05pm

" Once in a life time a person meets a partner that seems to be too perfect. " I agree with this and sometimes they are married.

You have not stated the reason for break-up except that your gf was unhappy.There could be a possibility of getting back by doing the right things.

If you explain more,we might be able to help better.

GOD BLESS

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2007
In reply to: ticking12000
Wed, 05-27-2009 - 2:17pm

IMO She "thought" she was happy but she wasn't really happy from the get go, she had not truly healed from the last relationship.... she had just ended a 5 year relationship (takes longer than 5 months to get over a relationship that was that long 90% of the time) She got her own place, she has her freedom, and she is enjoying that time.

I'm not saying she deliberately did what she did, but so many times people think they are ready for a relationship when in fact they aren't, they haven't taken the time to heal before getting involved with someone else...it is called a transition/rebound relationship.

There is probably no hope

Yes, forget it, start the healing process (takes time) get on with your life, keep in mind it is usually not a good idea to get involved with someone newly broken up, separated, or newly divorced.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2006
In reply to: ticking12000
Wed, 05-27-2009 - 3:26pm

Ticking12000,


Welcome to the board! TBH, I think that based on the info you have given us, that your gf may have realized that she jumped into another relationship too soon and is now wanting to take some time for herself. Unfortunately you were involved and now you are experiencing hurt because of her decision.


How long have you been together?


I'm not saying to forget everything, but whenever people break up its usually for good and you should treat it as such. Don't try to hold on because then you won't be able to move on. Good Luck

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2009
In reply to: ticking12000
Wed, 05-27-2009 - 5:29pm

Thanks for the advise.

Had time to go over everything. Think you guys are right.
Was the the sudden freedom and needing her own space to clear up her feelings and get over everything.

Had the weekend to sort myself out, once i understand easier to move on.

Thanks.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2007
In reply to: ticking12000
Thu, 05-28-2009 - 12:18pm

Absolutely and it happens so many times like that. They don't mean to hurt anyone but emotionally they are not ready for a relationship.

Good for you, just take some time to get over it, sometimes bad things happen and as long as you come through it, learning something that helps you grown as a person, it was a good thing(hard to see that when it is happening) :)

Good luck