Why do men make fun of their gf's body?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2008
Why do men make fun of their gf's body?
7
Fri, 12-18-2009 - 3:59pm

I am 5'0 and 86 lbs.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2007

Hi there,

No, you are not meant to be with this guy.

You post a lot about the issues with your boyfriend (see Problem Solving for Couples). I think you guys aren't right for each other.

You are obsessed about your own body sizes/parts, I've seen you talk about your bust-waist-hip measurements, here you just mentioned your height and your weight. What is the point?

It's a bad reason to stay with someone just because you can't afford to live alone and want his money.

You and this guy are so different. You sound like you need to live alone for a while first. You want intellect you said, then you think he wants you just for sex. The relationship should be getting better by now, and if it's not, then let it go.

Good luck to you!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2006
Tue, 12-22-2009 - 11:48am
Not all men make fun of their partner's body, and there are some women who criticize their guy's body, too, but what's really important here I think is why do you stay with someone who would treat you this way? Here's a link I think may help give you some food for thought.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2008

He always tells me that I am beautiful and he justifies his occasional making comments about other attractive women because I am bisexual and I like women too.

So i tell him it is ok if he makes those comments once in a while but not too often and he listens.

I am bipolar and consistently on medications so when I am depressed, I tend to go posting on here and exaggerate the bad things and never say the good.

But here are the good things:
* he never flirts with other girls in front of me
* he takes care of me
* he is there whenever I need to talk and cry
* he appreciates me
* he helps me with my studies, finances and getting to work

I am not manic now (at this moment of writing this) but I am calm and stable.

When I feel this way, I would break down the negatives and rationalize them.

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff in Love
by: Richard Carlson & Kristin Carlson

That is a good book.

My boyfriend never said that I am unattractive or my different features are not good. Men will be men and have taste in women but my big job is to be proud of my own body and it will make it easier for him to enjoy time with me when I am not constantly being insecure about it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2006
I can certainly see how your bipolar would magnify things and make them seem worse when you're in a down cycle. If you haven't already checked it out, you may want to visit our Bipolar Disorder board for more support during both the downs and the ups. :)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2010

Maybe because you poke fun at yourself that makes him think it's ok to do the same.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2008

Oh my God!!!! Thank you soooo much soulmatesociety. You are the only one who gave me useful feedback.

Maybe it's because you read the WHOLE thing I wrote?

Other posters saw "make fun of my body" and immediately thought...verbal abuse.

Can you believe someone sent me a link to verbal abuse?

But thank you sooo much for telling me what I need to hear.

you said: if i told him to stop and he did and I am still bothered, then I am the one with the issue.

I AM the one with the issue. I am kinda obsessed with having a perfect body. I need to toss all that IMMATURITY out the window!!! It really helps when I do.

I am also bipolar (medicated) so when I hit low depression points, I tend to magnify negatives. I learned in cognitive behavioral therapy to have healthier thoughts.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2009
Sun, 01-31-2010 - 10:24am

why do women put down men in public?