Why does he keep me on a string?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2008
Why does he keep me on a string?
Thu, 07-02-2009 - 11:48pm

I am miserable and need advice.


Mah Tame

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Fri, 07-03-2009 - 11:03am
Edit: Sorry for some reason my response to another post showed up here. I have no idea how that happened! If you read my response please ignore it.

Edited 7/18/2009 7:01 pm ET by undercovercrab
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2006
Sat, 07-04-2009 - 11:25am

Why does he keep stringing you along? Because he can. Because he knows that you're willing to

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2006
Mon, 07-06-2009 - 2:49pm


Welcome to the board. He does it because you let him. He does it because you are vulnerable. Whatever the reasoning may be, it is working for him. He knows you still have feelings for him and he knows that if he continues to bother you you may give in.

You deserve better than that. Maybe you should take time to heal from your divorce and gain the strength you need to make decisions that are better for YOU.

Good Luck

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2006
Thu, 07-09-2009 - 12:23pm

I think the others are right in that it sounds like he just wants you to want him, more than anything. Here are some links that may help:

After the Affair


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
Sat, 07-18-2009 - 2:15am

I wonder why you would think there was anything to "rebuild".

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2007
Tue, 07-21-2009 - 9:35pm

I know some what how you feel as I am, again, trying to cut ties with a man I have known for nearly 7 years. I have made too many excuses as to why I keep in contact with him. We have mutual friends but I can figure out ways to stay clear o him if I REALLY want too...I cut him off several weeks back, AGAIN and caved AGAIN when he left several pathetic messages on my voicemail this past weekend. I want someone who wants to be with me NOW..not wait for him to get his act together and step up to the plate...over and over and over again, he keeps showing me who he is, figuring out how to pull my heart strings and then, distances himself..and then we go back in for yet another round..I am tired..I am SO tired..I can't do this anymore..my heart is breaking at the moment but I know have to walk thru the feelings and let

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2009
Thu, 07-23-2009 - 12:31pm

He's doing the whole have his cake and eat it too thing. It's selfish of him.

I was in a situation like this too and the only way I got out of it was by seeing his true colors. That and telling him NEVER to talk to me or make contact with me again. Is going to that second job absolutely necessary? Are there negative qualities about him that you can concentrate on?

I know it sucks when you're in love with someone and really should get rid of them. It's like an addiction. You can treat this like an addiction and follow how other people get over theirs.

Also, are you able to meet other men and date around? That always helps get over someone :) It's slow sometimes but it works.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2002
Thu, 07-23-2009 - 3:03pm

I know how you feel, because I was with a man in a similar situation. The relationship was so toxic, when I look back now, I don't even know why I was in it for such a long time.