Why does he want to stay in Contact ???

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-21-2005
Why does he want to stay in Contact ???
1
Thu, 09-29-2005 - 4:42pm

Hi All

Ok, long story short I met a man 6 months ago, we dated for about 2 weeks. I felt completely comfortable with him from the start and we get along very well. His ex-girlfriend got jealous and then decided she might want him back. They have kids together. So she basically confused him and so our relationship was on and off and basically ended up being a FWB type of thing. Of course I have a lot of feeling for him. The girlfriend has now decided to go to counselling so our relationship has I think ended.

Anyway, when he told me this, I told him that there was no reason for us to stay in contact, he wasn't happy with that and said that he wants to remain friends.

He calls me from time to time to see how I am.

What really confuses me is why would a man who is trying to get his family back together want to stay friends with a girl he had dated and then rejected ? Maybe any guys out there can answer it for me. Does he feel obliged or guilty to stay friends, or is he keeping me on the back burner in case the relationship doesn't work again ?

And me having intense feelings for him doesn't make it any easier ?

Thanks for your insight.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2005
Fri, 09-30-2005 - 12:34pm
He probably feels guilty for how it ended with you, and he is probably not entirely happy with his decision to go back to his ex. It was probably best since there are children involved, but it doesn't mean he is satisfied he made the right choice for himself. You have to make up your mind that you deserve a WHOLE relationship with a man who can be there for you 100% of the time. The healthiest thing for you is to just end all contact with him. Don't let yourself worry about why he is doing what he is doing. Worry about what you can do to bring yourself back to a happy outlook in your own personal life. You know it isn't going to be with him, and right now you can't emotionally afford to be his friend. The situation is too off balanced. He isn't thinking about what you need. He is only thinking about what he needs and how to get it. So chin up, and move on. Good luck to you.