Why don't I understand Men?!?!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2010
Why don't I understand Men?!?!
13
Fri, 01-08-2010 - 10:13pm

Ok so I'm new to the hole online blogging situation, but sometimes I need to hear from other women other then my mother and my same aged girlfriends......


I've been talking to this guy for about a month and a half now.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Sat, 01-09-2010 - 7:26am

He's interested, yes. I think that's apparent enough. He just has a different way of approaching dating/relationships than you do. As you get to know him (a month is hardly any time at all), you'll come to realize that you can really connect with this guy and form a relationship that suits both of you, or you won't.

You've only been talking to one another for a month, you shouldn't be having conversations on the phone or in text message. That actually causes confusion, it doesn't bring you closer together. Focus on getting together in person and getting to know him face to face, and you'll get a more accurate picture of who he is.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2007
Sat, 01-09-2010 - 12:04pm

Well, I'm having a hard time figuring out if he's really that into you!

You can either give it more time for him to see if the feelings really formulate or you can decide that his unpredictability and mixed messages are just too much for you and move on without him. I am thinking back to when my BF and I were dating 1.5 months and it wasn't this complicated!

Have all the men you dated been like this? Your title seems to indicated something to that effect.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2010
Sun, 01-10-2010 - 10:40pm

Well needless to say I haven't talked to him since that Friday night.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Mon, 01-11-2010 - 8:02am
It's only been three days. That to me says "I have a life outside of the girl I just met a month ago" rather than "I'm not interested". Maybe he's not dating you exclusively. What exactly is your evidence of him not being interested?
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2006
Mon, 01-11-2010 - 8:56pm
he may or may not be interested. But here is how you will know. DON'T CALL HIM! Let him call you - let him do the chasing!!! In the meantime, distract yourself with something else (preferably someTHING and not SOMEONE). Get involved in exercise, yoga, maybe volunteer! Keep yourself busy, and let HIM do the legwork when it comes to dating!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Mon, 01-11-2010 - 9:23pm
I agree with this - Go out and live your life, let him actively become a part of it rather than dropping everything and chasing him. Having an interesting and fulfilling life outside of him will be incredibly attractive. A healthy man does NOT want to be the only focus of a woman he's recently met.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-1999
Tue, 01-12-2010 - 11:33am

Just give it some time and wait to see what happens. In the meantime stay occupied and busy so that you're not sitting around waiting and wondering.

I don't really think that anything in his past behavior means he's not interested. My husband used to always avoid the phone as well when we were dating, but that's because he hates phones. It had nothing to do with how he felt about me.

I think his reasons for cancelling the dates sound pretty valid as well. With the first one he cancelled, you know he only got two hours of sleep the night before so I can definitely see why he wasn't up for going out that night. The second one- I do think he should have asked you if it was okay if his friends came along rather than just telling you they'd be there. It seems like an oversight on his part, but since it's the only real one I'm seeing, I would be inclined to let it go. The third one, it sounds like he had already made plans with his family and didn't want to blow them off. That's understandable as well.

If you haven't spoken about being exclusive and you're still on dating sites, then he could have met somebody new. There's nothing you can really do about that.

He said he'd call ABOUT the week-end so that may have meant a little later. Just stay busy and see what happens. You'll know one way or the other soon enough.

If he doesn't call back, that doesn't mean he was never interested. It just means something may have come up recently to make him lose interest. That doesn't mean it's anything you did either. It could be something completely unrelated that is going on in his life.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2010
Sun, 01-31-2010 - 10:56pm
I'M A GUY AND I THINK YOU SHOULD RUN IN THE OTHER DIRECTION, AND FAST. He's this bad now, he'll only get worse as time goes on. Can you deal with more heartbreak till he decides he's done running around so much?
I think that you will find someone actually more compatible next time if you're patient, because right now it seems you're hoping "he's the one" and thus putting what really isn't there?
You know what your heart says.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2010
Wed, 02-03-2010 - 12:04am

IMO I disagree.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2005
Thu, 02-04-2010 - 11:00pm

the hilariuos thing is, YOU'RE on match.com as well!

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