Will My BF marry me if he has a kid?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2004
Will My BF marry me if he has a kid?
Mon, 11-23-2009 - 7:33pm
My BF and I will be dating 2 years in January. I am going to be 30 in February and he will be 32 In January. He has a 2 year old son with an ex gf. Do you think this will effect him in terms of wanting to get married to me and having kids with me? He knows that I want to settle down and he does too. We are actually in the process of looking for a house together. I am wondering though if him having a 2 year old ( which was unexpected) will affect how this pans out. If he didnt have a kid I figure things might be alot easier. How long should I wait before he does pop the question. We know that we love each other very much and that how long we are with each other shouldnt matter. What do you gusy think? I hope he doesnt change his mind about having kids either. He told me that he wants kids of his own ( well with his wife), this was a while back and I hope the feelings havent changed.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2009
Mon, 11-23-2009 - 11:24pm

I don't really understand the problem here....if you two are progressing nicely in this relationship, how does him having a child going to affect his decision in wanting to get married again?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2009
Tue, 11-24-2009 - 11:25am

We could speculate, just like you’re doing, and come up with nothing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-1999
Tue, 11-24-2009 - 1:53pm

I think these are questions you really should be asking him. He is the only one who can give you the answers you want. Many men who've had kids from a previous relationship still want to have kids in a new relationship.

I really think you should hold off on purchasing home at the very least, until you feel confident about how these questions have been answered, if not until you are married. Things can get really messy when couples purchase a home together and then split up. You are better off not taking the risk of putting yourself in that situation. If you are just looking for a place to rent together, that is a bit less messy, but it is still definitely worth knowing where things stand first.