yes or no

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
yes or no
3
Mon, 06-21-2010 - 7:42pm

I have been going out with my bf for 5 years now. He's what I would call my first true love. I've been happy with him and haven't come across anyone that I want to be with more than him. He's nice to me and would do anything to make me happy. Just like any human, he's not perfect. I'm not crazy about his family and I feel like he could be immature when dealing with certain things, but on the whole, I have been in a happy relationship.

I think he's about to pop the question. I'm 85% sure I want to be with him for the rest of my life, but there's 15% of me that wonders if there's such a thing as perfect guy. I understand everyone has their own quirks and baggage, but I wonder if there is someone with imperfections that I don't mind or notice as much. I'm concern that what I noticed now may grow into a bigger problem in the future once we live together and see each other much more often.

Is anyone out there with similar dilemma?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2007
In reply to: jenc86
Mon, 06-21-2010 - 7:51pm

Sorry for answering as I do not have a similar dilema but I think it is all a crap shoot.

Missy
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
In reply to: jenc86
Mon, 06-21-2010 - 8:53pm
I've felt similarly, yeah. Been with someone over five years now and I think he'll propose soon too. When you've been together a long time, the crazy feeligns of lust and "I need you forever" kind of wear off. You're left with something more realistic and you can see the bad stuff much more clearly. I like misssy's suggestion of thinking about how bad the bad can possibly get and letting that guide you. Also remember that marriage is an agreement that you can only make for the foreseeable future. You have to accept that life is full of uncertainty and risk, you don't know what you're going to think in 20-30 years. No one does. Does this guy make you happy now? Do you want to stay with him? Is he a good person who makes you feel joy and comfort? Don't look for "perfect", if you're happy with him and happy enough to live with the quirks you don't like, you've got a good idea of what you're in for and you have come this far regardless.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2010
In reply to: jenc86
Tue, 06-22-2010 - 2:34am

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