you love something and let it go, if it comes back is it really yours?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2011
you love something and let it go, if it comes back is it really yours?
3
Fri, 09-30-2011 - 8:03pm
A year ago I started talking to this guy that I really liked a lot. I told him how I felt and he said he wasn't ready for a relationship. We became good friends, texting every day, going out to eat, talking on the phone for hours at a time, and just hanging out watching a movie or playing video games. One night we ended up making out and he became very distant for a month. Then we got past the awkwardness and started talking and hanging out again. Then we ended up making out again and I made him promise not to become distant again but a week later we had sex for the first time. I brought up us starting a relationship again and he still said he wasn't ready and that he has a wall up that he can't seem to let down. After that I became distant. He called a few times to see how I was but we eventually lost contact. Then I found out he was dating someone. Of course I was hurt that we were so close for 6 months but couldn't commit to me but would try with a girl he just met. He did message me online saying we should hang out again and since we were friends his gf shouldn't care. We never did but I found out they broke up a month later. Neither one of us made any attempt to contact each other. That was 4 months ago and last month I ran into his brother and dad at a bar. That got me missing him so I called him. He invited me over to hang out but I was with a friend and didn't have my car. He offered to come get me so I let him and we went to my apartment. He pretty much invited himself up and we watched a movie. He kept being really touchy and the next thing I knew we were in my bed and he stayed all night. I didn't hear from him for 3 weeks then ran into him at pizza hut and he sat with my friend and I. The next day I saw his brother and he invited me to his house saying "my friend" would be there. I went and he came home with me again and stayed the night and half of the next day. Now I feel like I'm seeing him every where I go. I haven't brought up a relationship again and we don't talk every day like before. We also have not had sex the nights he has stayed. We just make out and hold each other and its really sweet.
I don't know what to expect from this. I'm really trying to not let myself fall for him again but its getting harder. I had a hard time getting over him before and don't want to go through that again. Should I keep my emotions in check and see what happens or should I let it go since would never commit before and has hurt me in the past?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999

Somehow I don't think this is going to get past the friends stage sincehe has had chances and not pursued them.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007

I think that if it's meant to be, then you never have to let it go in the first place.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2011
But he has told me he likes me and has listed what he likes about me and how I would be a good choice as his gf. Then he also tells me how complicated relationships are to him and values our friendship and don't want to mess it up. My question is why does he keep doing this knowing how I feel about him? Won't that mess up a friendship worse than anything?