10 reasons I'll ghost ASAP

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2004
10 reasons I'll ghost ASAP
5
Fri, 03-18-2005 - 2:57pm

1. Don't send a picture when asked
2. Avoid answering questions about marital status
3. Go more than 1 full day without responding to email
4. Cancel a meeting and don't offer an alternate time
5. Send one line emails about nothing
6. Don't ask a question or answer questions in previous emails I sent
7. Get me confused with someone else you're talking with
8. Talk about anything sexual
9. Give the appearance you're rather email than meet
10. Make me guess whether you're online to email and chat or to find a relationship

I've been online about a year. The tolerance for the above is much greater when first starting out.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2004
Fri, 03-18-2005 - 3:09pm

Pretty good listing.

I would give someone a bit more time than a single day, and give a little latitude on getting confused with someone else, but beyond that I'm with ya on all the other items on the list.

Except I don't believe in ghosting; better to just send an email off saying "sorry, we're just not a match."

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 03-18-2005 - 3:25pm
I agree pretty much with your list. I try and deal with #3 and 6. But I do appreciate emailing back within a day and answering some of my questions. But it's not a dealbreaker from the get-go. It shows there is some interest on their part to get to know me.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 03-18-2005 - 7:08pm

The only one I'd disagree with is #3, especially if you are unable to meet right away due to your respective schedules. I don't like exchanging endless emails before meeting, so I will often intentionally not respond for a couple days to cut down on the amount of emails exchanged before meeting.

I think there are plenty of good reasons not to respond to an email right away. I think a couple-three days is reasonable.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2004
Fri, 03-18-2005 - 7:38pm

Love it Lg!,

Well, I have to say that you got right to it, and I appreciate that. I have two who are 'penpals' right now and I had interest in them,but I gave my phone number to them more than a week ago, and all I have gotten is a daily itinerary of their day, when I emailed--so, I give up!

Question is: Do you think people are here to find One person to date? I am really questioning that lately. I mean, I read their profile and I meet or exceed what they say they are looking for, but....the next thing you know, they are back online again, looking about for the Next catch. Is this breeding a new "Mr Right Now"? kinda attitude?

I Hope not!

p.s. I like your photo!

Truly,Cupcake

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Fri, 03-18-2005 - 11:29pm

I'd agree with everything except 3 and 7 but with the caveat on 7 of depending on what stage of chatting we are in. I wouldn't ghost on someone that confuses me with someone else, but I would hold it somewhere in my mind and if it happened again later on after a couple dates, I would have issues with it. But right now, I am communicting with 5 guys from eH and one from MM. The ones from eH, I am having a hard time keeping straight but I DO go back and look at the profile, pictures and answers they have given me in an attempt to make sure I DON'T mix them up but it could easily happen. Some have gone to the same college or said similar things, it can be tough!

As for #3, I do get busy at times. I try not to answer the emails at work (although I'll be on the board at work ) and the last couple of days, I am not getting in until pretty late so all I want to do is veg. I don't think it is a crime to go a couple of days without emailing - I do it and so do the guys I have been communicating with. I actually kind of prefer it that way. When they respond back so quickly, sometimes it freaks me out - almost looking desperate. Within 2-3 days, definitely tho.

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