100% Confused

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2006
100% Confused
6
Tue, 01-17-2006 - 6:15pm
I took everyone's advice (which was really good!) and mentioned to the guy I met on OLD that I would love to talk to him sometime. He did e-mail me back but, ignored the idea in his e-mail. Yesterday I mentioned it again letting him know I wanted to put the option on thetable because I wanted to get to know him better. He hasn't e-mailed me back yet but,there's still time for that. I guess the issue I'm having is that we have been e-mailing for about 1 1/2-2 weeks and I from what I have learned he seems like a nive guy. We have a lot in common and we both joined the OLD site looking for a serious relationship. I just want to talk to him & get to know him better because, (not to sound bitchy or rude)I don't want to "waist my time" if he's not interested anymore. I have no idea how to go about this because this is the first time I have done OLD. If anyone had any advice that could be helpful I would really appreciate it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Tue, 01-17-2006 - 6:38pm

Well, here's something that I said to a guy that seemed like he was going to be an incessant emailer:

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This worked for me because he said that he preferred email as a form of contact. AND I have a lot of OLD experience and I know that emailing too long is bad from experience - you're new so you can't say that without it sounding weird. You could adapt it some and say something like:

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131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 01-17-2006 - 6:43pm
From my short experience with OLD (and I could be wrong) is that if a guy is for real, he would want to meet pretty soon, especially if you have already suggested it. If I were you, I would just ghost as I don't think he is in for a real relationship. I don't know... listen to the other ladies here as well.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2004
Wed, 01-18-2006 - 9:57am
Sounds as if he's one of those pen pal types. I don't get those guys -- joining a service like match to just email people back and forth? I agree with the person who said if he didn't respond to your request to meet right away, he probably has no interest in actually meeting. I'd say good riddance.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2001
Wed, 01-18-2006 - 11:37am
This goes along with my experience. Why join a dating site at all if you have no plans on ever meeting anyone? That is what I wanted to ask the one guy who seemed the most viable guy for a while. It was like he just wanted to instant message (almost daily) for a while, then it got to be sporadic. Same one who told me he "froze up" upon meeting. I wish I had asked him that question. Eventually, I deleted him from my messenger list. Interestingly though, he still has a profile on both yahoo and match. If these guys are paying subscription fees to these services, then they have more $ than they have brains. What a total waste of time and money if they have no real plan on meeting anyone. What's worse is that they're wasting the rest of our time as well until we figure out they are not serious.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Wed, 01-18-2006 - 3:53pm

Not to be a downer, but a guy who doesn't want to meet in person sets off major red flags and warning bells. I'd assume he's married or attached, and meeting in person is too complicated for him.

If he's not in a relationship already, then he must have horrible social skills if he can't even carry on a phone conversation, let alone meet in person.

Either way, is this the kind of guy you want to be with? I'd move onto greener pastures, especially because you have mentioned moving the relationship away from e-mail more than once and he hasn't accepted.

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2005
Wed, 01-18-2006 - 4:14pm
You don't want to waste your time. He's given you the answer already. Some people just aren't interested in you or not interested in an actual relationship with anyone.