1st date

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-08-2005
1st date
5
Tue, 10-03-2006 - 11:46am

Hi, I am an inexperienced dater, especially with online... I have been messaging with this one guy for a couple weeks now, and we have our first meet tonight. He really does seem like a good guy, sweet and nice, and smart! When he asked me out he suggested we get a coffee and then grab a movie to watch (meaning go back to one of our places). I'm all for the coffee, but the movie... I don't know. I mean, I'm sure he's not a psycho, but who knows right? And if he thinks I'm going back to his place to fool around he's crazy! I guess though, he could just be suggesting it as something to do. I don't want to look like I think he's a nutcase or hurt his feelings. If I feel comfortable should I go? If I decide not to go, what should I say to him to not look silly or hurt his feelings?

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: lulu_lemon
Tue, 10-03-2006 - 11:54am

Absolutely do not go to his place or have him come to yours. To me, the fact that he suggested this is a red flag (that he may just be looking for a hookup), so definitely keep that in mind if you do hit it off.

I wouldn't worry about hurting his feelings--I'd just say something like "I'd like to get to know you better before going to your house or having you come to mine." If he has a problem with that, then he's got a problem, IMO.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2005
In reply to: lulu_lemon
Tue, 10-03-2006 - 12:01pm
i agree, do not go back to his place...i dont want to put a damper on this entire date, but to me when a guy suggests go back to my place, it means let's go hook up. Call me jaded if you want, but it seems inappropriate that he'd suggest this...how old are you guys?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-08-2005
In reply to: lulu_lemon
Tue, 10-03-2006 - 12:19pm
I'm 24 and he's 27, and I agree with what you are both saying. EEK! Now I think I should maybe cancel all together. Oh well, I guess I will drink my coffee, have a chat, if things go well I will tell him to call me, if not... run!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2005
In reply to: lulu_lemon
Tue, 10-03-2006 - 12:40pm
yeah if he's 27, he's been out of college long enough to know that a proper date isnt watching a movie in someone's room anymore (: Just tell him that you'd like to go out for coffee/drinks/food whatever, but that you dont feel comfortable seeing his place just yet or having him see yours. If anything he'll respect you more...if he's offended...well then you're better off without him (:
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
In reply to: lulu_lemon
Tue, 10-03-2006 - 2:00pm

No way, No how!!


MAYBE he said it innocently, but i think it is TOTALLY innapropriate. Can you imagine how uncomfrotable that would be? Sitting on a couch together, 1st date, watching a movie ....


I would still go on the date, but be on gaurd. Sounds like either he is clueless to dating etiquette, or he is trying ot set up a hook up!

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