1st phone call doesn't go well....

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2005
1st phone call doesn't go well....
12
Thu, 02-17-2005 - 5:19pm

but guy still asks for a first meeting. Do you go hoping that in person it will be better? Or not waste your time because if on the phone it sucks, in person it should suck worse.

what's been your experience?

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2004
Thu, 02-17-2005 - 5:30pm

Whenever I've gone on a meet after the phone call was questionable I've been sorry. The part of the phone call that has been questionable is more like new information - recently divorced, battling the spouse, high maintenance person, etc...

The best meets I've had were no advanced phone calls.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2003
Thu, 02-17-2005 - 5:36pm

Bear with me; it’s probably because I read the same posts over and over and have been through it myself. :-)

Also the play by plays of guys who call ... why not wait to see if you like them on the phone, if you do click (or have a connection on the phone) and then decide to set up a date, then tell us about it. Seems like to much anticipation in my opinion otherwise and you’ll only set yourself up for disappointment. You may date 20 guys before you find ONE you like; just the way it is. I would look at it as I have a date providing you hit it off if it works out great if not next!

OK, sorry if that was harsh :)....

Just��� being on the outside looking in the answer seems so clear but what do I know.. .... I’m just a peanut

The answer: You know your answer which is NO. If you’re not clicking on the phone you won’t be in person. Sure, there are exceptions to the rule. You haven’t even met the poor guy apart and your analyzing your 15 minute conversation and posting about it – listen to your gut. :-)

Ms. Peanut

Avatar Image"The Small Peanu
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Thu, 02-17-2005 - 5:47pm
I say meet him and see how it goes. Some people are not great phone talkers.

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2003
Thu, 02-17-2005 - 5:53pm

I need to know what she means the conversation sucked? Was he mono tone like? Shy? Did he not have anything to say? Did he sound like Kermit the frog or like he wasn’t that intelligent and kind of dopey. If it’s any of the above that’s not going to change in person.

Now if it was just an “ok” conversation and it didn’t make you think either way i want to go out again then go for it otherwise I’d say no.

Avatar Image"The Small Peanu
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2003
Thu, 02-17-2005 - 5:56pm

I guess what I’m saying is you want someone you “connect” with and that’s on an intelligent conversational level. To me that is the basics ya know? That’s my concern for wasting your time meeting him out; to me time is precious and I’d rather pass and talk to a few others that are on my list or in box; too many fish in the sea to not have a good feeling based on a phone call. The key is to connect ....

Avatar Image"The Small Peanu
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Thu, 02-17-2005 - 5:56pm
I'm horrible on the phone - most of the time. It's very difficult for me to chit-chat

 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
Thu, 02-17-2005 - 7:02pm
What was wrong with the phone conversation?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2005
Thu, 02-17-2005 - 7:31pm

Hey! I guess it was just a little difficult. It didn't flow. Like, the questions he asked of me, he didn't really love the answers. That sort of thing. One sort of can tell I think when the "feelings" change, or the interest dissuades. So why then proceed to ask me to meet? I dunno. Maybe it's easier than just saying good bye, I'll talk to you again someday. Who knows....

I guess a meeting can't hurt because ya never know. On paper he's pretty good.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
Thu, 02-17-2005 - 7:34pm

So no red flags, great. Sounds like just your average awkward phone call with a complete stranger (I'm terrible at those!). Good news that he wants to meet you in person. You may be pleasantly surprised how different things will be then.

or not!

amjay

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Thu, 02-17-2005 - 7:41pm
Well, if you were thinking it was awkward and that HE didn't like you - that doesn't make sense that he asked you out. If he had thought you were not compatible, he wouldn't have asked to meet you. He didn't have to ask you out - I've had conversations where the guy did not ask me out at the end. Awkward phone convos happen all the time. Go out with him and see if it gets better in person. If so, great! If not, oh well.

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

Pages