2 Questions...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
2 Questions...
18
Tue, 03-15-2005 - 7:59am
I have two questions and didn't want to waste two posts :
1) my profile is hidden on match. but when I logged on this morning just to do a search the amount of 'views' had increased by 3. Can someone check your profile even if it's hidden?
2) I have not heard from the guy I'm supposed to have coffee when this evening since Sunday. I don't have a place or a time. At what point today should I write him off?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
In reply to: donna710
Tue, 03-15-2005 - 8:30am

Donna, Donna, Donna. You can't have it both ways -- is he a date or a new friend? Friends don't fret, they phone. And the guy-does-the-work rule is not in place.

When you spoke on Sunday, and he gave no time or place, did the two of you arrange to firm up plans later in the week?

Just call the dude if you want to have coffee with him.

amjay

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
In reply to: donna710
Tue, 03-15-2005 - 8:51am

As for the first question - if you are saved in someone's favorites or if you have sent an email to them that they still have in their online inbox, they can probably still view your profile. Not positive but it is likely. Also, anytime that you view your profile "As others see it", you increase your count a notch.

I'm with amjay on the other. If this is not a date and instead is two friends getting together for a therapy session, then call him to firm up a time and place. If you are expecting a date, then wait for his call. Also, since it is supposedly just 2 friends and a therapy session, are you going to buy your coffee? Just curious per NGOL's rant about women leading men on, it might be a good idea to set expectations that it is NOT a date.

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2004
In reply to: donna710
Tue, 03-15-2005 - 8:56am

The Match post counters are usually behind. You can hide your profile and still get views for a day or two -- while Match is updating. I think if you look at yourself it may increase as well.

AFAIK, people who have you in their favorites can no longer view your profile because it shows up as completely blank - nothing to click. Not even a notice of what profile name used to be there.

And I'm with AMJAY on her comment - 100%.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: donna710
Tue, 03-15-2005 - 8:59am
well, I did send a quick 'hi' email yesterday and said "talk to you tomorrow, what time is good for you?". I didn't hear back, so I think the ball is in his court now.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
In reply to: donna710
Tue, 03-15-2005 - 9:12am
Definitely agreed on that. If you hear back, great. If not, NEXT! him and look for someone not in need of your therapy couch! :-)

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2004
In reply to: donna710
Tue, 03-15-2005 - 9:46am

Hi Donna,

Stick a fork in you, you are done. You wrote to him, now go about your way. If he does not call and you do not feel comfortable calling, then find something/someone else to occupy your time. I vote for the 2nd one! I am a little worried that in the next 1 or 2 meetings, he is gonna get 'horns' and turn his train in the other direction, as he is lonely and wants a little 'fun', so he will show a liiitttle 'romantical' interest in you, and hope it turns into some "throwdown sex"--not His to identify after the crime!!

Also, you have been there for him, in his time of need, and I would hope he is a little more considerate of you; and would call and make those plans before you had to worry about them. But....you MIGHT be seeing exactly WHY he is not having successful relationships. Leopards show their spots!

Good luck, but please find others to play with, if he is gonna be stingy with his toys--how YOU feel is what is important here!

Truly,
Cupcake

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: donna710
Tue, 03-15-2005 - 11:53am
okay, now I'm alittle PO'd. I sent him an email saying "I know you're busy at work but just checking to see if we're still on for coffee". So his reply is "sure, where do you want to meet? how about around 6:30?, sorry I haven't gotten back to you earlier but I've been swamped with work."
For crying out loud...it was his idea in the first place!!! it sounds like I was the one doing the asking and he's reluctantly saying 'sure'.
And, I can understand being busy at work but when I've checked on match he's usually "Online Now". If he can do that, he can respond to an email.
I'm feeling cynical now. What should I do?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
In reply to: donna710
Tue, 03-15-2005 - 12:02pm

I think you should rant and rave and shake your fist at all men on the planet.

Works for me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
In reply to: donna710
Tue, 03-15-2005 - 12:03pm
...or, you can take special note that he's "online now" and realize that he is not boyfriend material for you??!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
In reply to: donna710
Tue, 03-15-2005 - 12:07pm

STOP DONNA, STOP! :-) Just calm down, darlin'! He answered your email telling you a time and asking a place to meet. He said he's been swamped. Why not just beleive him? So it shows he is "Online Now", do you know how many times I have logged into Match or another site on my home computer and just left it up for hours b/c I forgot? I showed "Online Now" for a whole day once while I was out running errands b/c I logged in and never logged out!

Also, this is Mr. Not-A-Date Guy! Don't get all bent out of shape on this. I have found that guys treat their female friends a lot more like they treat their guy friends than they do a girlfriend. He doesn't even know you're peeved and he sure doesn't know why b/c in his mind, he has done nothing wrong! Just take a deep breath and tell him where you want to meet for coffee tonight then have fun when you go.

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

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