3 wks on CL... only 1 bad meet out of 11
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| Tue, 09-05-2006 - 7:03pm |
Hi everyone, I've been reading on here a lot. Thought I'd share my experiences for a change. I'm recently separated and have had 3 free weekends without my child. You're probably all gonna think I'm nuts, but I just wanted to maximize the free time I have, until I burn out I guess. So this past weekend, I went on 6 meets (2 Friday, 2 Saturday, 2 Sunday) LOL! All of the guys are from CL because I didn't want to go on the official dating sites since I'm not looking for a relationship and just want to go out and meet new people.
On CL, I have responded to men's postings and I have posted my own. When I post my own, I generally do a brief post saying something like "drinks tonight?" or "weekend plans?" with no pic. I do a short paragraph about just wanting to meet people and not looking for a relationship nor a hookup, or no expectations, with a basic description of myself and who I'm interested in meeting. I generally would get 30-50 responses within 4 hours then I cancel the ad. I have once left an ad up for over 24 hours and gotten probably 70-80 responses.
I have had 11 meets to date. All of them were good except for the first one below. I don't mean to offend with any of my descriptions but as you can see I was not being particular about my requirements, whether physically, professionally etc, because I'm not looking for the love of my life.
I'm gonna start with this weekend which is week #3 so the numbering is gonna be out of order -- unfortunately it's gonna start with the only bad (pretty bad) meet I had.
Week #3
CL Guy 6 -- I had posted about wanting to do something and got so many responses I was overwhelmed. I responded to some with pics but the coordination was taking too long and it was already Friday mid-day, so I responded to this guy with no pic who seemed to show initiative and just said you plan the evening. Long story short, he turned out to be car-less, pretty much homeless, had 8 kids in another state, staying with a woman who has 4 kids. He showed up late and was unwashed (I think he smelled, ugh!) and unkempt (not exactly like a street bum but definitely not properly attired even for a casual restaurant). I am polite and overly conscious about moral obligations by nature, so I didn't bail right away. We ordered drinks and appetizers, I had a few bites, wanted to stick it out but couldn't, went to the restroom, said I had to leave, left a $20 on the table and ran out of there! Even now, I wonder if he paid the bill or just pocketed the cash! To make matters worse, the woman he was living with found out about what he was doing and wrote me an email warning me about him and left a message on my cell. I did call her back briefly and said I got out of there fast and wanted no part of him. She was obviously being lied to and kicked him out. She also said what I had already suspected, that he's homeless etc and that he had a drug problem with Robitussin. There were some red flags I ignored. I did ask him for credentials and googled him. He turned up some good websites showing his marketing portfolios so I thought he'd be okay even if he was down on his luck. Now I know better, but my previous and post experiences to this man were all very good.
CL guy #7 - This was unplanned but I was so shocked by #6 that I really wanted to salvage the evening. I had written down a couple of phone numbers so I called this guy and he met me sight unseen (no pic from me -- I had seen his). Very nice man, 37, Persian with a very interesting background. Had to leave Iran when he was 10 in order to avoid being recruited to the army in the Iran-Iraq war and his father was arrested for having American ties. He basically lived the next 4 years until he was 14 living on his own (his father provided financial support) in four different European countries visiting consulates and begging for visas until his brother in the U.S. hired an attorney and helped get him here. Another interesting fact I learned is that Iranians are not Arabs. Iranians and Germans are the only Arian race. Now he's an attorney.
CL guy #8 - Morning coffee meet. This guy is hot! Looks like George Clooney but better if you can imagine that. Great smile, great teeth, beautiful piercing blue eyes. He had sent me a pic which turned out to be an ad he did but the ad didn't do him justice. Good conversation. He's a mechanic by day but works as a pilot other times and occasionally does ads and had been on ER. When he met me, he was on his way to his weekend assignment doing sky typing (smoke ads in the air).
CL guy #9 - Dinner and cocktails. This was someone I had corresponded with by email in depth for about 3 weeks, exchanging a lot of thoughts and information. He turned out to be as nice as I thought. Italian man from Argentina, works in IT. A definite friends potential and will be so.
CL guy #10 - This was unplanned in the sense that his last email to me got buried in my inbox. I was at loose ends for Sunday daytime and found his email inviting me to a street fair by the beach. So I went. Physically, he's totally not my type, but I felt 100% comfortable with him from the first minute I met him. I spent more than half the time telling him all about my CL escapades, like he's my longtime girlfriend. Funny thing is, while we were eating lunch, another guy slipped me his card asking me to ditch the current date.
CL guy #11 - This was a meet planned for over a week. The guy is totally not my type and I responded to his ad because I had been wanting to go this country western bar for a while. And the city I'm in, no one wants to do that! So the guy, a carpenter/handyman, had been calling me a bit too much and being too complimentary without even having met me. I showed up and he had a dozen dark peach roses for me which was really nice. But in person, he's even less attractive physically, had a round belly and walks with a limp (imagine Peter Pettigrew in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban when the rat turns into a human being). He was teaching me how to two-step and I must say he was a good and patient teacher. I stayed a few hours, enjoyed the live band and watching others dance.
To be continued...... with meets from weeks 1 and 2.

It's confirmed! I need to move to California! (smile)
I like your approach and it seems you met some interesting people. I may have to try that and see what happens. Unfortunately, I lack motivation and can't imagine going on 6 dates on one weekend! Thanks for posting and can't wait to hear about the other adventures.
I'm not necessarily recommending my approach to others. It is rather reckless and not very structured. I think for me it works right now because of where I am at with my personal situation. I am definitely having fun and enjoying meeting new people.
The meets from weeks 1 and 2 were uneventful for the most part (I guess I was rather slow easing myself into the CL mode, lol).
I did meet a remarkable man who, if the timing was not so wrong, could have been a LTR. He's amazing, with very solid values and very successful... but so driven in both business goals and personal growth that it was sometimes exhausting. We were actually involved for a couple of weeks and strong feelings/connection were present. I guess he was my rebound/transitional guy? He definitely wanted to keep going and felt that we were right for each other. But I just can't right now even though I still miss him.
I know, I know... I'm just all over the place. I believe I am on the right path, even though I get into some unexpected detours.
I really just wanted to post to illustrate that Craigslist is a valid venue for meeting good people. Just takes extra time/effort/coordination and sometimes caution.
Good luck to all!!