4th month running ..

Avatar for sk3035
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
4th month running ..
21
Sun, 04-10-2011 - 7:03pm

Hi,

We found each other through a website and added each other on facebook.We live in different states...about 3 hours drive away.

We chatted on facebook for 3-4 days and then he started pushing me for my phone number because he wanted to talk to me and did not want a pen pal. I was not too comfortable giving him my number.. I live with my parents and told him that I don't comfortable talking in their presence and that I would move back to my place in 2 months and then we can talk on phone. He needed repeated assurance on this fact.

He also suggested that we chat on yahoo/msn and I didn't see any harm. From the day that we connected on IM, he wanted to chat with me every night. Some days I made excuses, other days I was busy and chatted with him on the rest.

We started texting each other every day. He calls me "sexy", "hottie", "buddy", "dude" ... we have exchanged some of our fantasies like how it would be if we were in the same state and walking aimlessly in the evening. He has always initiated the texting ... I have maybe 3-4 times in these 3 months.

We crack jokes, pull each other's legs, have a laugh, share a bit of what's going on in our lives.

Lately, he started asking me if we would ever talk. He works in the afternoon and comes home around 9pm. I work in the mornings and am back home around 6pm.

The problem is this -

3 months have passed and I'm still with my parents. I told him this and also showed my interest in moving onto phone calls. Because of our schedules I tried to work it out by suggesting mornings/afternoons on weekends ... I could step out and talk to him. But he says that he likes to call only in the evenings after 9pm. He flat out told me that "he is not calling me in the mornings".

Considering that calling at daytime on a weekend should not be a problem since we don't lose on the minutes and it doesn't cost.

Anyhow, this was thursday. He called saturday morning but I missed the call. I sent him a message on facebook asking him what time would work for him on sunday and I would call him then. I didn't hear back on it. So, I called him early afternoon and his phone was turned off. After this, I have not called him and he is not calling me though he texts me everyday.

A guy who was pushing to get my number and told me that "he is dying to hear my voice", it's kinda weird that he would not call. I feel hurt and it seems to me that he was just using me when he was getting bored or did not have anything to do. But then he still texts me when he's at work so I don't think he's been using me. I'm so confused.

My question is why would he not call?

Since I feel hurt, I have limited my texting with him and have taken a step back. Am I right in doing so?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2005
Tue, 05-10-2011 - 11:17pm

I have read your entire story. forget about this guy. he doesn't mean you any good. As other persons have said, all, he wants is sex.

k2002
Avatar for sk3035
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
Sat, 04-30-2011 - 8:22pm

I want things to be as they were before. Is that possible?

Should I text this guy? Something like "Friends keep in touch, dude!?" If I text him this, will I come across as stupid?

Avatar for sk3035
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
Thu, 04-28-2011 - 4:42pm

He did give me hints all along but there was another side to him. I paid no heed to those hints because I wanted friendship and I could be myself with this guy. He didn't mind me joking, kidding and pulling his leg.

I have other guy friends who at first wanted sex but when I said no they backed off. But we are still friends and they did not delete me from facebook.

I wanted the same from this guy. It's true that I did fall for him a little but now I know that it was because of the attention he was showering on me.

We don't have to meet but couldn't we remain friends? Was I asking too much? I want him in my life. It's been 4 days and we haven't talked :(

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 04-28-2011 - 4:06pm

He's very clearly telling you that he wants sex & thinks you don't so how can you be friends?

Avatar for sk3035
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
Thu, 04-28-2011 - 2:25pm

I don't have close friends here in town and I lost my job as well. So, I'm trying to keep busy by making job search my priority.

He kept deleting women from facebook and adding some back in but not all. When I asked him why he deleted me from facebook, he said "Friends with 1 horny towards the other is my formula for disaster". I don't know what he meant. Can anyone figure this out?

I cried when he deleted me and I told him so. He then said that "We still friends. Don't get all feely moddy touchy. I want friendship and no emotional abuse. I hate anyone getting attached to me." Do you think I might have given him that impression and scared him in the process? Or was this just another way of putting me down?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2005
Thu, 04-28-2011 - 2:04pm
sk3035 wrote:

But then why did he keep saying "We're still friends" when I contacted him saturday evening and sunday? Was he just trying to bring me down easy?

It doesn't really matter what he was saying and why. He removed you from facebook, you don't remove someone you want to keep in touch with

Avatar for sk3035
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
Thu, 04-28-2011 - 2:04pm

and when i contacted him , he kept saying "we're still friends" because that's what I wanted to hear ... ?

He gave me attention for 4 months with us talking/chatting everyday. I'm feeling empty and hurt now.

Does anyone here think that he might initiate contact again and is there's any possibility of us being just friends? He knows I wanted our friendship to continue.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2007
Thu, 04-28-2011 - 12:47pm

Straight up…. this imbecile was looking for phone sex, you said no, so he deleted you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 04-28-2011 - 10:43am

Probably--if you are still friends, why did he delete you from FB?

Avatar for sk3035
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
Wed, 04-27-2011 - 10:18pm

But then why did he keep saying "We're still friends" when I contacted him saturday evening and sunday? Was he just trying to bring me down easy?

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