9 PM too late to call?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2005
9 PM too late to call?
26
Fri, 05-12-2006 - 5:13pm
Hey all, I had been exchanging emails with a woman and we seemed to have some mutual interests, etc. She gave me her number and then a day or 2 later I called her around 9:15. We talked for a few minutes but not long because she said she was tired. I left it at that. This morning I get an email out of the blue saying she is no longer interested because I broke her 9 and 9 rule?! No calling for the first time before 9 AM and not after 9 PM. I called her a fuddy duddy and asked whether she also didn't wear white after Labor Day (a childish reply but I was a little cranky after her email). I know - I should have left it alone but really, 9? I've always heard 10 was the latest to call. Any opinions?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Fri, 05-12-2006 - 5:26pm

Personally? I think you are LUCKY she showed you early on that she is not worth your time. Sheesh. She could have just said "For firture reference, i dont like calls after 9pm ...."


She sounds as if she isnt worth another thought, with THAT attitude!


& timewise, i say 9:30 ish is safe. But everyone is different. *I* work 12 hr overnites ... so i sleep in th daytime. But my phone is off & goes to voice mail if i am sleeping, so it makes no difference to me if anyone calls anytime.


R~

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Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 05-12-2006 - 5:35pm

For a first call? Definitely too late for me. I most likely wouldn't answer that late, but I wouldn't ding a person for not knowing my preferences, either (and this is part of why I always give guys a good time to call).

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2005
Fri, 05-12-2006 - 5:58pm

Here was her email....I probably am lucky, she definitely didn't handle a small bit of inconsideration very well. Not sure why she mentioned the dog though. Although, I probably am more concerned about him than her.

Hi John-

I meant to e-mail you yesterday, but I've been keeping a good eye on my dog, and am actually having to take him back to the vet today because he's licking his sore too much.

I've decided I'm not interested, thank you. I don't like it when someone calls me after 9:00 without ever having spoken to me before. I was raised by the before 9 after 9 rule and think it's pretty much common courtesy. You don't call someone before 9 or after 9 unless you have established it's okay.

Best of luck to you! :-)

Meghan

Avatar for travkitty
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2003
Fri, 05-12-2006 - 6:12pm

Let me make sure I understand this...

Did she tell you about her rule BEFORE you made the first call?

If she never told you, that's quite rude on HER part to get peeved at you. I say good riddance to her.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2005
Fri, 05-12-2006 - 6:16pm

LOL, reverse of my situation where the guy called me for the first time 9:00 AM not PM on a Monday morning when I'm working! For me it was more annoying as in "do you really think this is a good time to chat"?

 
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2005
Fri, 05-12-2006 - 6:18pm
Yeah, I think you got off lucky. First, I don't think calling at 915 is that terrible, and second, you didn't deserve that email.







Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 05-12-2006 - 6:18pm

Yeah...that's a little too inflexible even for my taste ;-), I don't blame you so much for calling her a fuddy duddy after getting that email!

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2005
Fri, 05-12-2006 - 6:19pm
She didn't mention a timeframe to call at all. I would have completely respected it. Maybe I should ask in the future....
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2005
Fri, 05-12-2006 - 6:50pm

Not calling after 9pm if very old-school etiquette... it is how I was raised.

But now-a-days, I think 10 is considered the cut-off, generally speaking, of course. I always suggest to first-time callers that between 9 and 10 pm is best, but since I'm up anyway, as late as 11 is ok. Either way the kids are in bed and not trying to cut in on my conversation!

I definitely wouldn't NEXT a guy if I didn't tell him an acceptable time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-09-2006
Fri, 05-12-2006 - 7:32pm
I get up at 4:30 am at the latest so nobody calls me after 9 pm. I would have definitely let you know before nexting you though.

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