9 PM too late to call?
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9 PM too late to call?
| Fri, 05-12-2006 - 5:13pm |
Hey all, I had been exchanging emails with a woman and we seemed to have some mutual interests, etc. She gave me her number and then a day or 2 later I called her around 9:15. We talked for a few minutes but not long because she said she was tired. I left it at that. This morning I get an email out of the blue saying she is no longer interested because I broke her 9 and 9 rule?! No calling for the first time before 9 AM and not after 9 PM. I called her a fuddy duddy and asked whether she also didn't wear white after Labor Day (a childish reply but I was a little cranky after her email). I know - I should have left it alone but really, 9? I've always heard 10 was the latest to call. Any opinions?

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Personally, I usually don't make calls after 9pm unless I need to. I just figure that folks are winding down or getting ready for bed (especially in the middle of a work week).
Likewise, until I know someone better, I prefer this same courtesy in return. Of course, everyone has a different take on this...but since I was brought up in a fairly strict household where "late" calls were not considered appropriate- I guess it rubbed off on me.
That's not to say I'm opposed to using the phone after 9pm, because I do. But with a potential date, I'd prefer my calls earlier in the evening.
On the flipside, night minutes on cell phone plans often don't kick in til 9pm, so it makes sense that a lot of folks prefer calling a bit later in the evening.
I think it was a bit silly of her to say you'd broken the rules. 1. You're not a mind reader and 2. A polite 'heads up' would have gotten the point across just fine.
She sounds like she's got an interesting process of elimination there.
I was taught the 9-9 rule too and would never call someone I didn't know well outside those hours. However, the real issue here seems to be that this woman is very inflexible and judgmental. You are well rid of her.
Not all of us learned/accepted the same code of manners. I knew very well-mannered people who followed an 8-8 rule, to my very great annoyance. (I *hate* being called before 9 AM and I like to be able to call my friends after 8 PM.) And a lot of people I know subscribe to the 10:00-10:00 rule. My friends know they can call me as late as midnight.) So basically there are different (all equally polite) assumptions about when it is best to call a person you don't know well. Therefore the thing to do is to ask.
Your contact is clearly someone convinced that HER way and HER background are the only "right" way to be. Good riddance.
El
I don't think she was disinterested for any other reason than the fact that I didn't follow her rule (which I was not aware of). We had exchanged nice emails prior to me calling and the conversation was too brief for her to weigh a positive or negative opinion of me. All in all, I don't know her from Adam so she could have just moved on rather than sending a detailed description of proper phone manners.
-John
LOL maybe so be glad she's gone, can you imagine the first time you had sex with her...you'd receive an email the next day.
Dear John,
Last night. You laid on my hair twice, causing me pain when I went to turn over. This is 3 demerits. I was a little annoyed, when you just carelessly tossed your boxer shorts on my floor, is there a problem with neatly folding them on the end of the bed, didn't your mother ever teach you manners? 4 demerits. I felt like when you were on top of me, the breathing hard in my face was very disrespectful, I felt like you should have asked me if it was okay, that lack of awareness for my boundaries just isn't polite. 10 demerits.
Overall the entire lovemaking experiencing just wasn't up to par. Although I did have an orgasm multiple times. The underwear and breathing in my face really weighed on my mind heavily and then this morning to top it all off you left the toilet seat up and I fell in the toilet when I went to go to the bathroom. Do you understand the germs that are in a toilet even when you think its clean??? I'm sorry I just cannot date you anymore.
Good day and good luck!
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