90 day hiatus starts today!
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| Thu, 06-01-2006 - 11:06am |
Ok, all my profiles have been deleted or hidden, and I've taken CL off my favorites list...I'm going cold turkey on OLD for 90 days starting today!
I just need a break from the emotional rollercoaster, so I'm not going to email, wink, send icebreakers or even browse ads, let alone meet anyone for coffee ;-), for 90 days. There are two guys I've met already who I will continue to see for as long as we are both interested in doing so but I'm not adding anyone new to the mix.
I ended things with the guy who was going too fast on Sunday night--we just have too many differences to be a good match for the long haul. But I think he will be a good friend--we've actually been talking a lot on the phone since then and it's fine. The musician/athlete finally admitted under tough questionning ;-) that he has a girlfriend--he says they only agreed this weekend to be exclusive. Of course he's already proposing that he cheat on her with me...lovely, eh? He was oh so bad for me, so it's for the best that it's over, but damn, the sex was good! Oh well, what can I say, lust makes you do stupid things ;-).
So I'm throwing myself into work, exercise and fun summer activities...the Seattle Film Festival is going on now so that's a *great* distraction!
I'll still be on the board so I'll live vicariously through the OLD adventures the rest of you are having (although less than now--I need to cut down on my Ivillage time!).
Sheri

Hey Sheri!
I would think this is the time to date – 90 days is the entire summer?
I just don't want to have anything to do with OLD right now, so even having one ad up would be too much (because I'd be like, why isn't anyone writing to me and stressing over it--I know myself well enough to know that ;-)). A clean break is necessary.
Given that there's so much ELSE to do here in the summer time, it's actually the best time, IMO, to NOT be dating. My calendar is practically filled up for the next 3 months, so I don't know that I'd have *time* to date anyway!!
Sheri
Yep, exactly...I am *really* looking forward to the lack of those constant, little "self esteem hits" as you call them. Even though I've got a pretty thick skin, after a while they just get to you.
I've even debated about whether I should continue to see the two guys I've met, just to preclude those opportunities for drama and heartbreak, but they both seem to be nice guys with potential so I'd hate to miss out on the possibilities. I'm going to take things super slowly though and let THEM be the ones to initiate everything.
Good luck with your meet on Saturday but yeah, I hear you on the over-complimenting before you've even met! And it sounds like you should drop the e-harmony guy...if you've had his number for a week and you haven't felt like calling, it's doubtful that will change.
Sheri
Take care Sheri... ah yes.. that lust factor... LOL.
90 days? that's 3 months... June, July, August.. allllll summer...
Mark
Sheri,
I really understand. I have turned off my match.com profile and since e-harmony only sends me matches that don't match (the latest was an athlete, no less--and me a couch potato!) I have no anxieties. Except, of course, for the ongoing "matches." (More about that in another msg.)
I was thinking, however, that the thing about online dating is that everything is intensified by the fact that we have stuck out our necks (or at least our faces) and admitted that we are looking for dates.
I walk down the street every day and I don't feel that every man who doesn't show interest in me is rejecting me. I have fun conversations with strangers on elevators, buses and check out lines, and I don't feel afterwards that the stranger didn't find me attractive just because we go our separate ways. But with OLD there is such a pressure to attract, to feel "wanted"!
So your hiatus sounds like a good idea. Furthermore, if you wait for three months, there will be new guys out there on the dating sites. You won't have to keep going over the same old tired crop.
Best,
Elsa
Hey Sheri,
I'm kind of on a hiatus myself. I was only on Yahoo. A couple of days ago I made my profile unsearchable and deleted my picture. I haven't had a subscription in a month. So far, only one guy is keeping in touch with me. Some really cute, nice seeming guys have sent me messages. One even put in his profile he just wants to love and be loved. Talk about melting my heart! Unfortunately, I just don't have the heart for old right now. I'm facing some serious issues in the next month and feel they will take most of my energies and focus. Btw, I'm from the Northwest, lived in Seattle for two years, before I moved to the Mid-West. It's a great city! Enjoy your break; I'm sure you'll come back feeling refreshed if and when you want to :).
Sheri,
Good for you. I'm on your same wavelength. I keep seeing the same faces on match and they keep seeing me, so I haven't really gotten many emails lately. I think taking a break is a great idea -- as golightly said, in a few months, there'll be some new guys online. I'm buying a new home so I'm making that the focus of my summer. It's really nice to be thinking of something other than dating. The only problem is that I know myself, and I start to get antsy, want to meet someone, it's hard to resist the temptation and just focus on yourself, which is what I want/need to do. Also, a friend and I have signed up for a speed-dating event that isn't until the middle of july, so I'm thinking I have that coming and I won't put any more effort into the dating thing between now and then. I'm still on match, but I'm not going to sign on as much and probably not do anything proactive on it.
It's hard to just "let go" when you're in your late 30's, your friends are all paired off, etc., but it's freeing too. I hate being so focussed on meeting someone and ignoring all the other things life has to offer.
Keep us posted!
I think I may take your idea and do the same thing!!! I am just SO sick of OLD now...same old stuff, same old profiles and I think the final straw was the guy that e-mailed me and said "I like your profile, we have a lot in common but I don't think we're a good match, however, I'd be willing to meet you for a drink". Well, no way was I going to let him get away with that one!!! Willing? Like he's doing me a service by gracing me with his presence? So I wrote back and thanked him for his honesty but said I was at a point in my life where I'm looking for someone I *do* have a match with, not just someone to have a drink with just for the sake of drinking!
One of my friends told me "I honestly have never met anyone that has as much bad luck with guys as you do"....that was really a sign that it's time to hang it up for a while!