About my ex.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
About my ex.....
1
Thu, 06-26-2003 - 9:43am
Well, since Gail mentioned it.... I did something really really bad in that aspect. Oh man, I know I am so commitphobic but I tend to do this to some really great guys and just can't seem to help myself. It is like if they are good guys then I string them long when there is mention of someone else. That is what happened. I mentioned to my ex being happy single admitted to being lonely at times but tht can always be cured, because my son keeps my bed full of a constant supply of stuffed animals (as he thinks I need them). So I told him about not looking to settle down for long while then he was ok with it as we have time and lots of catching up to do. Then what do I do, well we should see be dating others also as I need to keep my options open. Well, he tells me of another woman he just met and how they have been talking and things are great, why do I always flip nd do a 360? I haven't a clue but I did it as usual. I told him how much I cared for him and wanted to be with him but if things don't go well with this other girl we can talk. Now, I know when tht hppens I will push him away and then the whole stupid cycle till I am bored with him or he finds someone who can make him not want to come back. I can't for the life of me understand why I do this, I know it is wrong. I wish I didn't but I am constantly doing this and do not realize it till it is done. The words just come out my mouth without thought. Ok, I've babbled over this long enough.

Marie

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2003
Thu, 06-26-2003 - 11:20am
Marie, my darling girl....who isnt afraid of commitment. Geez. Im scared to death of Mark coming here and things actually working. I almost want to create the negative to end it before it starts. lol I see it like this, it is easier to be alone since no one expects anything from you and vice versa. It is just easy. SO, who wants to take the easy road and be alone? Listen, you may not be ready for what this guy wants right now. There is not a thing wrong with you or the situation. He is keeping his options open, just as you are. He must know you better than you know yourself or you two are more alike then you want to admit. lol lol Ok, just my two cents.

I think you just be cool, hang out with the man, and if another man catches your eye, hang out with him too. No strings. You need to find out who you are before you can move into anything serious with anyone. If you want this guy though, you need to speak up. Stop being so scared and go for it. What do you have to loose? Stuffed animals?

Gail :)