Advice for Meeting in Person?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2006
Advice for Meeting in Person?
3
Sat, 06-03-2006 - 1:13am

Ok, so I've liked a lot of the messages you guys have posted. I thought I'd ask a question of my own.

I've been on Match for a few weeks, talked on the phone with a few guys, but I'm a bit apprehensive about meeting them in person. Honestly, there's no red flags or anything - I even did a reverse background check on one of them who gave me a phone number. I think they're probably nice guys & who they say they are. I'm just a nervous paranoid type. How do you get over that? Plus, I'm worried I won't be attracted to a guy in person or something & then it will be weird. What do you do?

Maybe the biggest reason I'm hesitant is b/c I know they think I'm really pretty from my pictures & everything, & I am much younger, but I'm not flirtatious in person. I don't get physical quickly & I'm kinda inhibited. Everything seems so fast w/ OLD. I'm worried these men expect that in person, too. I can handle myself - I'm not afraid I'll screw someone I don't like. The thing is, I just don't want an awkward situation.

Any advice? Experience to share? All comments are appreciated.

XOXO
--Deanna

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 06-03-2006 - 2:59am

How I approach first meetings is just to be myself, be curious about the other person, not worry about what the other person is expecting or to have my own expectations (that's future thinking.. disappointments waiting to happen), and to enjoy myself.

It is like meeting someone at the bookstore or in line at the grocery store... finding someone that we have something in common and looking for other areas of commonality.

I have worked on not being attached to the outcome. I come with "this is who I am for real" and "hey I would like to know more about you" attitude" and let the chips fall where they may.

Mark

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 06-03-2006 - 11:56am

Make your first meeting for coffee during the day on the weekend. That way, if you don't connect with the person, you can leave after 30 minutes or so without feeling too awkward.

Meeting during the day also cuts down on the chances that you'll get an awkward proposition ;-).

Think of it as just a cup of coffee with someone new. Don't make the first meet a bigger deal than it is.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2006
Sat, 06-03-2006 - 6:38pm

Thanks Sheri,

I think that's a really good idea - to meet during the day. That definitely takes off some of the romance type pressure.

xoxo

Deanna