Age Difference Question
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| Thu, 01-12-2006 - 11:17pm |
I m usually comfortable meeting any type of guys. Last year I dated briefly a younger guy. Things were not great and he always tried to impress me and felt he was so fake all the time that I decided I could not be with him anymore. We are still friends but I can tell he is a little bitter.
Forward one year and same thing happens. Now I m 30 y/o and I meet a guy who is 26y/o on NYE party. We dansed and I was v. drunk so we kissed. Later we had few phone conversations and agreed to meet this Sat.
I would like to meet him but I want to be friends at first kuz I dont want to dive in a relationship with a younger guy unless I m sure he is mature enough. which is really not v. common in our days. In my experience most men mature after 33! but I still would not want to rule out the possibility of things working out. Especially that there is great chemistry between us. So how can I make him understand that I want him as a friend when if things work out I really want him as a BF?? I dont want to have another bitter person if things did not work well. Any idea of how to bring up Friends first without being too direct and blunt?
Anyone dating younger guys? how much difference and would you recommend it?

Get real - you know there's great chemistry, you're talking about this guy more as a 'date' tthan a friend. There's a lot of casual-dating middle ground in between 'friends' and 'relationship'! So why not just go out, have fun, get to know each other and don't get overly involved until you know him better. (That also means don't get too physical - or that will likely be all it ever is.)
>>I dont want to have another bitter person if things did not work well.
Remember you are not responsible for anyone else's feelings!
Just my two cents pre-coffee. ;)
A number of years ago, I was interested in a guy 10 yrs. my junior. It was a strange time in my life; a very vulnerable one, and he came along just when I needed a shoulder and some support in my life. I had just broken up with my long-time immature & selfish boyfriend. I was also dealing with a terminally ill Dad. He also had an immature & selfish girlfriend. It appeared that things were going to end between he and this girl, but in the end, they did not. He stayed with her and quit talking to me totally.
Looking back, I have to wonder if his maturity level had something to do with how he handled things. He never looked happy with the girl even after that (we both worked at the same place), but he didn't have the guts to call it quits with her either. It was a very bad time in my life. I was not able to heal from his rejection until he finally left town. I still find myself attracted to younger guys, but I have a five-year limit either way now on age. Maybe for some people, that isn't as big a factor. I've never been attracted to much older guys. In fact, I have to say I'm repulsed by men who look old. Ideally, I want someone my own age, but since I don't look my age, it is sometimes hard to find someone you are both atracted to and have anything in common with. I still tend to want a little bit younger guy, but the 10 year age difference was too big for a real relationship to have happened between us.
actually it is more than just age.
At 30 I have established a career and live a comfortable life while he is just starting his career. First real job he got was when he was 24 y/o and then he imigrated here recently from France so new country and not so great job.
I will definitely go out with him and try to have fun but I want to keep things far from a Romantic date... I ve lost one potential friend because I was not too careful with the way I handled that previous relation.
I used to wonder how someone like Cameroon Diaz would date a justin timberlake until I heard her on TV in an interview and then I wondered how Justin is dating her!I think with her IQ she can date a 15 y/o and still he will make an impression on her!
:)
would you say the same about Demi or is her beau more mature than the other kids?